Curiouser and Curiouser

Branded by a dime

2008-07-17T08:57:00.002-05:00

Here's a word of wisdom, helpful hint, life lesson, or whatever you want to call it. "Never sit on change that has been baking in the sun all day".

I hate getting into my car after work. It is an absolute oven after being parked in the bright sunlight for 8 hours. But of course I have no choice if I want to get home. So, yesterday I headed to my car as usual after work. On auto-pilot, not thinking or looking, I plopped down on to the drivers seat. Suddenly I felt this sharp searing pain in my left butt-cheek (for lack of a better word). What the hell??? I reached underneath and pulled out a dime. Obviously in my haste, I failed to notice the dime that had been roasting in the sun on my car seat all day. I just plopped my happy butt down on top of it. Holy crap that hurt!! I swear, I must have a brand of President Roosevelt permanently burned on to my butt! I guess I'll just tell people I'm really patriotic and love FDR. Then again, who's going to see my butt besides hubby anyway??

Saggy Pantyhose

2008-07-17T08:53:00.002-05:00

I'm sitting here in my beautiful new business dress, black heels... and my pantyhose bunching at my ankles. Not attractive if you ask me. Why can't a company make plus-size pantyhose for short women? No matter what brand you choose - as you go up in sizes, not only do the hose get bigger around, they get longer too. I guess they assume all fat girls are Amazon women too. I hate it. No matter which brand I buy - to get a pair that fit over my plus-size butt, they always end up pooling at my ankles. Man I miss the good old days of Size A Leggs brand. Life was so much simpler then!

Something New Again - Journal

2008-07-15T09:37:00.002-05:00

I'm trying something new again. Doesn't it seem like I'm always trying something new with this blog? I always have thoughts, stories, and topics I want to write about, but I'm never at my computer when I think of them. And it seems whenever I AM at my computer, I'm totally not in the mood to type. So I'm going to start keeping a journal. That way I can write my thoughts down whenever the mood strikes me. I'm a secretary - I type 60wpm - it'll be absolutely nothing then for me to type the entries into my blog. I've skipped a dozen stories so far because I never had the chance to type them. Let's see if this corrects the problem...

Adventures in Hair Removal TMI!!

2008-07-12T18:45:00.006-05:00

WARNING! FOR MY FAMILY MEMBERS WHO READ THIS - DON'T GO ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW DETAILS ABOUT MY BIKINI AREA! LOL

Back story: Just about everyone who knows me, whether they want to or not, knows that I'm a big fan of bikini waxing. I've been getting waxes for about 9 years now. My mother thinks I'm insane - she says I must be into S & M to do it. No Mother! It's actually not as painful as you'd think. (It's more painful to wax your lip & chin believe it or not.) Plus - with shaving you have to shave just about daily to keep it stubble-free, and all that shaving causes razor burn and wonderful little red bumps everywhere. While with waxing, I can go 4 - 6 weeks between treatments and have hardly any bumps. Anyway - I've been seeing my current esthetician for about 5 years now, and she suggested I try laser hair removal. I tried it once before, a couple of years ago, but it didn't work. The lasers zap the pigment in the hair follicle, somehow killing the follicle so the hair never grows back. I'm blonde, and unfortunately until recently, it's been almost impossible to laser blondes - not enough pigment in the hair for the laser to zap. My esthetician offered to do my first services for free, just to see if it would work. How could I pass that up??

Okay - enough back story... So... I had my first laser treatment in May. Going in, I had no idea what to expect. Kari told me she was setting the laser on 16 - whatever that means. She was starting out low since I have such pale, sensitive skin. Umm... okay. You're the professional! She was all about to start when she noticed I hadn't shaved the area. She forgot to tell me to shave. In case you didn't know, you have to let the hair grow really long in between waxing treatments, so the wax will have something to adhere to. Obviously, not so with the laser. It's actually best to shave a few days ahead of time because the laser works best on hair in the first stage of growth (there are 3 btw). I offered to reschedule my appointment so I could shave beforehand, but she said no - said it should do fine, it'll just burn the hair and smoke a little. Umm WHAT??? okay... So she started in with the laser. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt a bit! She'd pull the trigger to activate the laser 'flash', I'd feel a little pop, and then a little puff of smoke would waft up. Yep, that's right - I said smoke - the downside to my not shaving. Have you ever burned your hair? Every time she zapped me, it would burn the hair, causing smoke and leaving oh so classy burnt shrivelled up hair. It took me 3 showers with buff puffs to scrub it all off!

Fast forward to this week... I went in for my second treatment. Again my mother said that I'm nuts and must be into S&M. This time I tell her that the waxes are every 4 - 6 weeks. Three or four laser treatments and the hair's gone permanently - I never have to worry about it again! It's sooooo worth it! Besides, it doesn't hurt in the least... or so I thought. she zapped me the first time and I swear I came off of the table. Holy crap that hurt!! So she keeps going - pop pop pop pop pop pop - and I'm doing everything I can to stay on the table. I was trying to take calming breaths, trying to convince myself that it wasn't that bad - but yes it was! I ended up jerking and flopping around like a fish out of water -- screaming and cussing the whole time. That was so embarrassing - I was trying to stay quiet, but I just couldn't. I hollered with every pop! Finally she was halfway done (did the left side). I had to ask her to give me a minute to recover before she started on the right side. While I was catching my breath, I asked her why it hurt so bad this time - there's no way it was just because I shaved this time, was it? No, she tells me. She turned the laser up. Oh you did???? Well great, thanks!! No wonder it felt like she was frying my crotch! She said she could turn it down for the right side if I wanted. Umm no. I'm not having my bikini area permanently lopsided just because I couldn't handle the pain. Just finish so it'll be over & done. So we continued with our little duet - pop pop pop pop pop ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch!! Just when I thought she was finishing, she told me to flip over. Crap - I forgot about my butt!! Now this is always so much fun for me anyway. As if it weren't awkward enough having her remove the hair in the front, I now had to roll over so she can get the hair on my butt... all of it. I always joke that Kari & I have become REALLY good friends. She knows me more intimately than any of my friends! :-) Anyway, back to the story --- I'm on my stomach with my butt in the air and I can't help but think "thank God I don't have gas!" About that time, Kari tells me "now warn me if you have to pass gas. I have to stop. The laser could spark a fire." WHAT????? She said that they taught her in training to always put a wet cotton ball over the client's [anus] in case they passed gas. Otherwise the laser could spark a fire. OH MY GOD!! As if it wasn't uncomfortable enough, now I have to worry about accidentally ripping one and catching my ASS on fire!! Why do I get myself into these messes?? Finally it was done. she told me the hair should fall out in about 7 days, and I needed to come for my next treatment in 6 weeks. Oh - and if I experience any itching, take Benadryl and put Cortisone on the area. That should clear it up.

I woke up the next morning with my body saying "Good morning - let the itching begin!" Itch?? That word is nowhere near strong enough. I itched so bad I wanted to scratch my flesh off! It was the same level as the worst case of poison ivy or fire ant bits I've had. Scratching was almost sexual, it felt so good! I was going insane! I popped 2 Benadryl first thing that morning to help combat the itch, and dug out the tube of Cortisone. Aw shit! while I did have Cortisone, it was ointment instead of cream. Great. Wonderful. but I had no choice, I couldn't manage without it. So, I slathered anti-itch ointment all over my bikini area and got dressed for work. It was such an icky feeling - I swear I felt like Burt Reynolds in Striptease where he covered himself in Vaseline and said "I can feel it squish my toes".

It's been 4 days now and thankfully things are all back to normal - until next time at least. I keep telling myself that it'll be worth it in the long run. I can handle two more treatments in order to be hair free permanently. Can't I?? I don't know. I'm just not sure I'll have the nerve to go through it all again!

Sick Kitty

2008-07-03T13:11:00.003-05:00

Willow's sick. Poor thing is having surgery today. She had an accident on the stairs (of all places) night before last and the puddle was pink. Uh-oh, not good. So we took her to the vet this morning. Turns out she has 2 rather large stones in her bladder that need to be surgically removed. We left her with the vet to have the surgery done today. She'll spend the night at the hospital and we'll be able to pick her up tomorrow. It's a simple procedure, and I'm sure she'll be fine, but I'm still worried. She's my cuddle bunny who sleeps with me every night. I don't think I'll be able to sleep without her! Plus it just breaks my heart to think of her in a kennel all night... poor thing!!

BAD Vietnamese

2008-07-02T14:37:00.002-05:00

I've just discovered one of the worst things to eat EVER is Vietnamese food that's gone bad. OH MY GOD food poisoning sucks! Reminds me of certain nights of drinking & debauchery in college - dozing off on the floor in front of the toilet, while promising God that "I'll never drink again" if he would just make the puking stop!

The Best Break Up Letter EVER

2008-07-02T12:45:00.002-05:00

This is compliments of my mother-in-law -- Thanks again Jan!!

OMG - I just love it!

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2008-06-30T22:02:00.004-05:00

I'm in the process of customizing a new template for the blog... please be patient...

thanks

Trapped in the post office going postal

2008-06-30T18:31:00.004-05:00

I was in the post office for almost 4 hours today - 4 HOURS! OH MY GOD - I now know the definition of "going postal". I swear, if I had to spend another hour in that place, I'd twist off and start killing people. I needed to get a passport, and I had to go in person since it'll be my very first passport. So...

The passport office in my local post office is open M - F 10:30am - 2:30pm. I got there just after 10:30am and there was already a line. Ugh... this doesn't look good. The handwritten sign said to take a number and get in line. Umm... sure, but where are the numbers?? The nice lady in front of me said I had to get it from the counter lady (thanks!). she was a busy counter lady too I should point out - she had a family of 5 at her counter trying to get passports. Only one of the children spoke English and was translating for the parents. I stood there for a few minutes, waiting for a break in the conversation so I could ask for a number. No luck. Finally at a quick pause, I meekly said "excuse me, I need to get a number??" The postal lady said, "I know you're there. I saw you standing there. Did you see me talking??" Oops! Okay, don't piss off the postal lady! Point to remember. I backed up a step and waited a few more minutes until she gave me a cardboard square with #10 written in black marker on it. So - back to the end of the line I go. Thank God I brought a book. After an hour without moving up even one space, I plopped my happy ass on the floor, leaned back & got lost in my book - 45 minutes later I was still sitting in the same place, and now my butt was asleep. I got up to stretch my legs, work the feeling back into my butt, and check the line in front of me. The good news was that the postal lady had worked her way through 3 more people and we were now on # 5 - good, halfway to me! The bad news was that numbers 7 & 8 were families with 5 people each. Ugh... still 13 more people... so I sat down again and tried to lose myself in my book & ipod. That was proving to be difficult because 1) family #8 - a large group with piercings and tattoos and emo kids - sat down in front of me. I had a front row view of mom's bra straps and Victoria's Secret brand underwear, and the chubby teenage daughter's whale tail (translation - the top of her thong was sticking out of the top of her low rise jeans showing a good bit of black lycra triangle & chubby skin). It was really distracting. 2) around the same time - sometime between 11:30am and 12:00pm - a hispanic mom with 2 boys lined up behind me. Normally I could care less but her older son had absolutely no comprehension of comfort zones and kept moving waaaaaay too close for me. He kept bumping up against me. I have a very large comfort zone and do not like being crowded - this was not a good thing. The younger son was about 3, and was really sweet, but got bored very quickly. He started running around, bugging his brother, making these obnoxious 3 year old noises, and teasing his brother over and over in Spanish. I don't know why, but it annoyed me even more because I couldn't tell what the insults were. Around 1:00pm-ish, he started in with "mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom" (you get the point)... OH. MY. GOD. I wanted to scream "Mom, I swear to God, if you don't acknowledge him, I'm going to club him over the head." Then the kids in front of me got bored and the brother & sister started annoying each other. I don't know what started it, but all of a sudden there was hollering about getting cooties and then someone else giving the infected a "cooties shot" -- "circle circle dot dot, now you have the cooties shot!" Umm... okay. Really now, they're trying to kill me. They're trying to drive me insane so I'll run screaming out of the post office and be one less person in line. Okay - calming breaths... in and out... read your book... only 3 more numbers and then it's your turn... you've only been here 3 hours, it's not THAT bad... could be worse - could be at the unemployment office... I was able to tune out the mongrels for another hour or so, made it up to page 180 in my book (that I started this morning), and made it until I was next in line - whew # 9! Almost me!! Woohoo and it's only 1:30pm!! Then the toddler in the line next to me started in on her ABC's - "oh how cute she is! Look how she's circling her mommy while singing!" Okay, once was cute, twice still cute but getting old, FOUR times with no end in sight was torture! I need to write the military as a suggestion for interrogating prisoners. "They won't talk? try a two year old singing the ABC's on an endless loop! That'll break anyone!" So now I'm chanting - "just one more number, just one more number, just one more number" under my breath. Trying to keep my eye on the prize. If I get through this, I won't have to come back for a whole 10 years - yippee! Okay - head down, eyes in your book, and ipod turned up louder to drown out all background yapping - you can do it. You can wait just a FEW MORE MINUTES until your turn! Then it happened... I couldn't believe it! It was MY TURN! Trumpets started sounding - I swear I heard a cherub chorus singing! The postal lady became the most beautiful postal employee I'd ever seen, with a glowing aura around her. My salvation - she's my ticket out of this hell! I stepped up to the counter, answered all of her questions, listened and yes m'ammed at all the correct places, gave her my money, raised my right hand and swore I was telling the truth on my passport application... then it happened -- she stamped my application in triplicate. Told me something about waiting 4 - 6 weeks for my passport to arrive, and said I was free to go... WOW... really?? you mean it?? OKAY!! I walked out of there in a daze. I was starving, sweating (cause it was freaking hot), and absolutely brain dead. I got the hell out of there as fast as I could, grabbed some fast food on the way home, and plopped my ass down in front of mindless tv for a few hours to recuperate. OMG that was an exhausting trip to nowhere...

Dreamed about my dad

2008-06-28T10:59:00.002-05:00

I had a dream about my dad last night - weird. I haven't dreamed about him in forever. Years ago, I would dream that I was trapped in his house with him and couldn't get out. Then the dreams changed to me screaming and yelling at him - all the things I wanted to say in real life, but never had the nerve. But even those stopped a few years ago. I really can't tell you the last time I dreamt of him. This dream was different too. Papa was in it - my dad's father. He died when I was in 6th grade, and I really only remember dreaming of him once - just after his death.

So anyway... the dream... the two of them lived together in a house on pilings in some made up coastal town. For some reason I had stopped to visit and ended up deciding to stay the night. Everything started out well enough - I remember talking to my grandfather and just having the feeling of knowing my father was near by. I was really happy being able to talk to Papa. (He was always one of my favorites, and I just hung the moon for him. He lived with us and was one of my major caregivers until his death in 1985 or 1986.) It was getting late and dark, and I decided to stay instead of driving all the way home at night. My dad was very welcoming and hospitable at first, but then started in with nagging, insulting, and just being plain mean to me. He wasn't obvious about it, they were just little jabs here and there and grumbles under his breath, but I finally couldn't take it anymore and went off on him. I remember just blowing up and chewing his butt about everything and saying I wouldn't stand for it anymore - I didn't have to put up with it, and I was leaving. I turned to Papa and said again how wonderful it was to see him, I hadn't in so long, but for my own sanity, I had to go.

The dream didn't have much substance to it. It wasn't one of the seriously in-depth, detailed dreams I usually have, but it stuck with me all day - the emotions and frustration stayed with me all day. It's odd - I wonder what brought it on...

Good Day

2008-06-27T07:46:00.002-05:00

Today is going to be a good day - I just know it! The morning is starting out great so far --

- Hubby's out of town, so I had to both get myself and my son up and out of the house early so I could drop him off at day-care before heading to work. Mission Accomplished! It was actually much easier than I expected - he actually woke up early on his own so I didn't have to battle with a comatose rugrat.

- I weighed myself this morning. I've lost another 2 lbs, so I'm finally back down to my lowest weight (I'd gained 10 lbs back since April...). So I'm wearing my now loose jeans to work and a shirt I haven't worn in a year. Yay me!

So yeah... if the day keeps up with this morning, it's going to be a good day!

THURSDAY 13 - Insulting Nicknames for my cat

2008-06-26T08:36:00.009-05:00

Now that I'm back to blogging regularly, I'm rejoining the ranks of THURSDAY 13 - woohoo!

Today's list is 13 insulting nicknames hubby and I have come up with for my cat. Let me explain - we have 3 cats: Shelby, Lily, and Willow. Willow is the youngest at 9, and though she's equally both of our cat, she favors me. Shelby and Lily are both 13 and were both mine before hubby & I got together. Within 2 hours of meeting hubby, Lily was smitten and no longer my cat but his. Shelby was a different story. She's always been a little 'off kilter' let's say. I say 'special' but most others would say 'psychotic'. The vet says it's because 1) she's a tortoise shell calico and they're always a little batty in the brain, and 2) she was an orphan kitty (I got her at 3 weeks) and never had a mother to teach her what's 'too rough' of behavior. Either way, she's always been a bit vicious and always hated everyone but me. She adores me - sleeps on my pillow at night, snuggles with me on the couch, is my shadow wherever I go in the house, comes when I whistle, and is always licking & grooming me.

One of the biggest past times in our house is making up goofy nicknames for the cats. I know I know, we're total dorks for it, but what can I say - it's fun! We have nicknames for all 3 of them, but Shelby I think has the most - and the most insulting. I swear, she was a beer guzzling, belching, obnoxious guy in a past life. It totally fits her personality. Either that or a dog LOL. She drools constantly - I mean big spit globbers, like a large dog, she fetches bottle caps & other little toys, she growls and even barks sometimes, and she's the messiest eater.

Anyway... enough background story - here's my list of nicknames:

1. Slobberface

2. Slobberific

3. Slobbericious
4. Grumpelstilskin

5. Grumplefugly
6. Snufalufu-butt (as in Sesame Street’s Snufalufacus)
7. O Cranky One
8. Pet Cemetery (thanks Chris)
9. El Gato de Diablo (thanks Taylor)
10. The Dog
11. Stink-a-saurus
12. Stink-zilla
13. Grumble-butt

Notice the pissed off expression...

This one she's trying to look vicious and mean, but she's actually yawning...

Sam Houston Memorial Funeral Home

2008-06-25T15:53:00.006-05:00

I have to thank my mother-in-law for this. She's the one who noticed & pointed it out to me...

So... my mother-in-law was looking up the details about Barbara's funeral last week when the buttons on the funeral home's website caught her eye. I have to say, I didn't pay any attention to them. Apparently, neither have the management for the funeral home because they're clearly not appropriate for the site. Check it out: http://www.funeralplan.com/samhoustonmemorialfuneralhome/

1. What's up with all of the butterflies? They're all over the place! What, do they think that'll distract people from the fact that it's a FUNERAL HOME?

2. Obits/Guestbook -- what does a woman & a little girls have to do with obituaries?

3. Virtual Tour - (1) Who the hell wants a virtual tour of a funeral home??? I don't think that would really be needed here. and (2) BUMPER BOATS??? WTF??

4. Pre-Planning - Yes I understand tons of people pre-plan their funerals. It's a very smart thing to do to make sure everything is taken care of in the manner you'd like. but again I just have to say WTF?? What is up with the camping picture? I haven't heard of this being a common camping outing for the whole family. "Guess what kids?? This weekened we're going camping down at the funeral home! and at night, we'll roast marshmallows & weenies in a leftover wooden casket!! Yay!!!"

5. Community Events - this isn't so much a complaint about the picture but rather a question about what kind of community events are going to be advertised on the funeral home website? and who is going to that website for their calendar planning information?? Funeral homes are something we all need at one time or another for ourselves or friends/family. But I don't think anyone ever looks forward to dealing with them. It's never a happy occasion.

Does anyone know the management for Sam Houston Memorial Funeral Home? If so, you may want to mention to them that they should reconsider the clip art on their website. I don't know -- maybe lilies or other flowers, doves, books, even people embracing. Just about anything will be better than camping and bumper boats!

(P.S. Thanks Jan!!)

Rain & My Glass Office

2008-06-25T14:54:00.008-05:00

So... As always, I'm again the chick behind the big marble desk, the receptionist in the lobby. Up here all alone in my receptionist bubble as I call it. This time it's a little different. Instead of being in a cave as it usually seems, I'm in a glass conservatory almost. Let me explain - usually the reception area is of course just inside the office doors, and facing or close to the elevator lobby. Almost always it's an area with no windows - I'd have to go to a manager's office to look out a window. My last job I could see the reflection of a window bouncing off of a metallic wall and could at least tell whether it was sunny or overcast out. I'd gotten very good at determining if it was raining by the details in the reflection. Several years ago I worked in an office in downtown Houston - that time I parked in an underground garage, took interior elevators to my windowless office, plus I ate in the tunnels underground. I could literally go all day without seeing the sunlight. That was a little odd...

So anyway, this is a totally new experience for me. I can actually see outside! Not only can I see outside, but I'm basically in a glass conservatory - AND it has an industrial looking metal ceiling. It's really nice normally, but OMG I just found out it's freaking loud in a rainstorm!! Ever been in a house or on a porch with a tin roof?? Well that's what I'm getting now, and it's echoing all over the place. I can barely hear the phone! But - beggars can't be choosers, and I'll gladly take the noise any day if it means I get the windows. Check it out... isn't it nice????

my desk

view from my desk

front door / another view from my desk

ceiling and last view from my desk

Text Conversation with Hubby

2008-06-23T16:30:00.002-05:00

I just had to pass this along... it's a breakdown of a short texting conversation I had with hubby...

ME: Wow. Ever see executives get into a brawl? I'm about to! I have a front row seat to a major argument.

HUBBY: Once at (ABC Company) two of the high risk traders got into it. Major entertainment.

ME: Wow - two battling suits! The only thing that would make it better would be if they were midgets!

HUBBY: You really do have issues... and a good grasp of what's funny...

ME: Why thank you!

Chick Fil-A

2008-06-23T15:38:00.002-05:00

Why on earth is Chick Fil-A so popular? Do they salt the waffle fries with cocaine or something? I admit, I'm a Chick Fil-A fan myself, but I just don't get it. Why is the restaurant ALWAYS swarming with people - every location, all the time? The drive-thru line is what truly baffles me. Every time I go to ANY location (there are 4 close by) there are a minimum of 12 - 15 cars in the drive-thru. That's what I don't get. Today at lunch there were about 20 in the drive thru line - it wrapped around the building, through the parking lot, and into Target's parking lot. I've seen the line at another location wrap around the building, through the parking lot, and spill out onto the freeway feeder, backing up traffic on the road. THAT's what I don't understand. There's no way you could get me to wait in a drive-thru lane that long. It's JUST FOOD. That line has to be 20 minutes long at least! And yes - it's always mass chaos inside too with kids running all over the place, moms chasing toddlers or feeding infants, lines to order and lines to pick up food - but it always seems like an organized chaos. They have so many registers open, there are never more than 2 people in front of me. Plus, they crank out the food so fast, they have your order on the counter pretty much by the time you hand over your cash. If there was a line or wait inside as long as in the drive-thru, I could guarantee you they'd not get any of MY money.

Anyway... I just don't get it. I've never seen crowds like that at any of the other 1,001 fast food restaurants around. Okay - maybe once at Krispie Kreme when they just opened their Houston location, but that was just initial mass hysteria. The lines totally died down after the first couple of weeks. But - name any of the burger or chicken places, none of them have swarms of people like Chick Fil-A. Weird...

I guess it might be one of the great mysteries of life that we'll never learn the answer to... though I think it might have something to do with suburban church-going folk and soccer moms... hmm...

QUESTION

2008-06-23T15:35:00.001-05:00

Can anyone help me? I have a just curious question... Why is it that the american flag is backwards on the patch on soldiers' uniforms? I've always wondered about that. Hubby says that there are two flags, one on each arm - one's correct and one's backwards. There has to be significance for that -- does anyone know?

Funeral Yesterday - Barbara Jean Shumate

2008-06-22T16:14:00.002-05:00

Went to a funeral yesterday... family friend died in a car accident Friday before last (June 13th). I was friendly with Barbara but not too close. I've known her basically all my life, but she's always been like the distant cousin everyone has -- we see each other at family functions but that's it. Either way, whether we were close or not, it was a big shock to all of us that we lost her last week - she was only 49. The funeral was not at all what I expected. Usually with our family we just have a small gathering of close friends and family. I swear it seemed like the whole city of Huntsville Texas showed up to say goodbye to Barbara Jean. It was standing room only, with people crowded in the back. I'd known that she'd worked as an instructor for TDCJ (Texas Dept of Criminal Justice) Academy since about forever, but I didn't realize what a military/police type of organization it was. They gave Sgt Barbara Shumate a full honor funeral - it was so touching. We walked through the honor guard lined up at the entrance to the funeral home; they presented the flags at the beginning, gave a gun salute and played taps at the end. There wasn't a dry eye in the place when they played taps. They also gave Barbara's children a Texas flag and the shot gun shells from the salute (I didn't know they did that). Plus, looking over the crowd at the funeral, it was a sea of grey - there were so many TDJC employees in uniforms there. Several people joked about "who's watching the prisoners?" because it seemed like every prison employee was crowded into the funeral home. And you could tell that they all adored Barbara. I swear, I've never seen so many grown men cry in my life. And we're talking big burly muscular prison guards - manly men! And each one was upset and crying over the loss of a little 5 foot nuthin of a woman (as one man said). I keep thinking about what one guy said about hugging her -- he's six foot something, and he said she only came to about his chest height when she hugged him, but he said when he closed his eyes, he knew that he was hugging a giant. Wow. Yeah, they all loved her - we all loved her. and we'll certainly miss her. Goodbye Barbara Jean...

Vietnamese food delights

2008-06-17T12:36:00.003-05:00

I've been on a major Vietnamese noodle soup and spring roll kick lately. I ate tons of noodle soup in May when I was having a hard time eating solids. Vietnamese chicken noodle soup is perfect for that, I can eat a few noodles and then just drink the broth.

Hubby turned me on to Vietnamese food about 4 or 5 years ago. You really have to be adventurous to randomly try Vietnamese food I think. More than once my chicken noodle soup has contained skin & other mystery parts. I told Hubby last time that it's a good thing I'm from the country, I'm used to people using the skin & fat etc to flavor the broth. Plus when you order beef, several selections list "soft tendon" or "tripe". Hubby gets something that's good, but looks way too much like menudo for my tastes.

Anyways... I was perusing the stack of take out menus at my new office and spotted a card for Pho' Be' Vietnamese Noodle House. Cool! I'm always on the look out for a new Vietnamese place. So I headed that way on my first day, and I've been back 3 or 4 times since. I have a feeling I'm going to become a frequent customer - I recently looked up the calorie content of spring rolls and they're only about 160 calories. That's 320 for a full meal - sure beats the hell out of McDonalds! Plus, this place has the best spring rolls in this area I think. They are super super fresh and they're made with grilled chicken instead of pork. Most places I've been to make spring rolls with shrimp and thinly sliced pork - this place uses grilled chicken which gives it a lot more flavor I think.

Oh and the other plus about Vietnamese restaurants is I get to have my favorite iced coffee - cafe' sua da. They bring you a high ball glass filled about halfway with condensed milk, and on top of that is a filter cup with coffee dripping into the glass below. With that they bring you a tall glass full of ice. Once all of the coffee drips through you stir/mix the coffee & condensed milk and then pour it over the ice. Yum!

I'm somewhat of a novelty to the waiters I think. They don't know what to make of me. When they come to take my order, I normally order iced coffee "cafe sua da" said just like that, with both English and Vietnamese. The waiters in the last three restaurants have chuckled at me when I've said it. Just to make sure, I asked the waiter in the second restaurant if I was pronouncing it right. He laughed again and yes I was right. I think they just don't expect the blonde soccer mom to be ordering cafe sua da and spring rolls without looking at the menu.

Wow - all this talk about spring rolls and coffee really has me craving it now. I'm heading out to my soon to be regular table at Pho' Be'...

Fashion emergency - self conscious

2008-06-16T07:55:00.002-05:00

I'm having a total girl moment this morning. I'm wearing one of my new dresses and I'm SO self conscious about myself in it. I keep freaking out and really would love to go change. There's nothing wrong with it, it fits correctly, it's just clingy. I asked 2 strangers at Lane Bryant when I bought it, and my mother & hubby after I got home. They all agree it looks nice. I'm just still not used to wearing form fitting outfits, I've been wearing nothing but big boxy stuff for the past 3 years. Ugh...

New Mary Janes

2008-06-13T10:11:00.005-05:00

I just HAD to show off my new black mary janes. Are they the cutest?! They really work well with my tattoo too...

And NO COMMENTS from the peanut gallery about the term "mary jane" - that means you Rex! :-)

P.S. Holy crap - I didn't realize I was that pale! No, I am not wearing white tights -- those are my legs! LOL

Miss Observant

2008-06-13T08:55:00.003-05:00

So... I'd been in the gargantuan parking lot at the new office 4 times on Tuesday (in the morning, out to lunch and back, and going home at 5pm) and three times Wednesday... on my 8th trip through the lot (heading to the car to go home Wednesday evening), I was walking and talking with my coworker when she asked me if I'd noticed how the other cars were parked. Umm... no?? I hadn't paid any attention the other cars. She pointed out that all of the other cars were backed in (nose out). Huh?? So I looked around - they were!! ALL of them! Wow - I'm so clueless sometimes. Not once did I notice that out of about 300-400 cars, MINE was the ONLY one parked nose in. My coworker said she was surprised security hadn't said anything to me. Apparently it's required by law. Since we have a plant on site, OSHA requires every car to be parked nose out in case there's an emergency causing everyone to evacuate. The theory is that there won't be as much confusion and congestion in the parking lots, and everyone will be able to leave quickly and smoothly.

Okay, I just want to point out - I learned to drive in Louisiana where the driving test to get my license was 4 right turns at stop signs and pulling into a parking spot (nose in I might add). I don't do well in reverse. I tend to hit things. This is going to be interesting. Either I'm going to get a crash course on backing in to parking places correctly, or my insurance company is going to stay busy with my claims. I wonder if they'll set up a 1-800 number just for my claims. 1-800-wendyhitme or http://www.wendyhitme.com/

Work clothes again

2008-06-13T08:34:00.002-05:00

I know I mentioned something about my new work clothes a few posts ago, but I just have to say it again. I really couldn't have cared less what I wore to my old job. As long as it wasn't a monster truck tshirt, capris, and flip flops, I was doing better than my boss. Now I'm back to professional career woman looks - suits, dresses, etc - and I save the capri pants for Fridays.

Did I mention I bought several dresses for work? It's weird for me, I know. Seriously, I remember wearing a dress Easter 2003 and to my friend's college graduation in 2003 or 2004. That's it, that's the last time. Plus, neither time did I wear hose. I got all dolled up Tuesday fro my first day on the job. I wore a new skirt and blouse, hose, and heels - whoa! I'm turning a corner in my wardrobe. Gone are the comfortable slacks, sensible but ugly shoes, and boxy shirts. In are figure showing dresses, hose, and heels. And even when I'm wearing my slacks, I have on a feminine blouse & shoes. I have to say, I feel prettier in these clothes - and I'm getting noticed! I have to walk through the cafeteria to get to the lady's room, and I've spotted a few of the plant workers/industrial guys glancing my way! Yesterday I wore a dress that was cut a little lower than I remembered causing my to show a bit more cleavage than I'd have liked. Everyone got a free show, but oh well - nothing I could do about it. I even got a compliment from one of the ladies!

But I have to admit my feet are seriously suffering and feeling the pain of looking good. The black heels I wore on Tuesday were no big deal. I wore them to work and then karate practice in the evening with no problems. But my brown heels are killing me! They're 3 1/2 inches high which isn't normally TOO bad, but is a killer when you're hoofing all over everywhere! Plus, I was a complete dumb ass on Wednesday and forgot to bring a pair of tennis shoes to wear to and from the car, which of course is parked in BFE - 10 miles from the building. I whined to my mom last night about my feet - she told me to clean up the bottoms of the feels and return them. Why on Earth would I do that? They may be little pain inducing torture devices, but they look good! I'm thinking about buying the same pair in black! My grandmother taught me that you sometimes have to suffer to look good. She gave me a pair of espadrille heels once that were a half size too small and hurt like hell, but I wore them! and I did look good!

THAT woman in traffic

2008-06-13T08:20:00.002-05:00

I've become "that woman" in traffic. With my new job starting at 7:30am, I'm crunched for time in the mornings. I get up at 5:30am to try to leave at 6:30am to be in The Woodlands by 7:30am. So I've started doing my make-up in the car on the way - thus making me "that woman" in traffic. "That woman" with her rear view mirror angled to show her reflection, weaving and driving by braille.

I do have two rules I always abide by:

1. I don't put on make-up while driving on the freeway.

2. I don't curl my eyelashes, put on mascara or eyeliner while the car is moving.

I mean I do have to draw the line somewhere - for safety's sake of course!

Oh and FYI in case this scares you - I drive a 2000 gold Chevy Malibu, and I'm on the road in Spring and The Woodlands 6:30am - 7:30am Monday through Friday. So... If you see me weaving your way, get out of mine!

New Job etc Part 2

2008-06-13T07:58:00.002-05:00

I started the last post Tuesday afternoon at the office thinking I'd finish it that evening at home. I did not anticipate my body completely shutting down the minute I walked through the door. I could barely move my arms much less think and type a blog entry. Here it is, 3 days later and I'm just now getting around to writing more...

Things are going really well at work. It's still a shock to my system to be back in the professional world, but I'm adjusting much more quickly than I thought I would. Kind of like riding a bike, you never forget completely. But it's still night and day to what I've been doing for the last few years. I went from a small office of 25 with almost no on-site visitors and few calls to a company with about 800 employees and a constant flow of visitors all day. For the past 4 years I've been doing just about everything to keep myself busy - email, surf the web, read tons of books & magazines, and IM constantly all day. Now I'm bombarded with so many calls & visitors, I barely have time to check email once much less IM. So THIS is what it's like to work for a living - oh yeah, I think I remember now!

Back to the rat race

2008-06-10T16:29:00.004-05:00

I started my new (contract) job this morning. Wow I didn't think it'd be this big of an adjustment going back to the professional/corporate world. Hubby was right - I'd gotten really lazy about working recently. I'd been at the same company for almost 4 years, and laid back barely describes that place.

Clothing wise -- I was always one of the more put together, nicer dressers at my last office - but even my wardrobe had recently taken a swing towards casual. I'd gotten really lazy and mainly wore slacks and golf shirts. I figured if the guys in the office could get away with it, so could I. I spent most of last week and the weekend buying dresses, suits, heels, hose, and a Spanx or two. And whoa, was I out of my comfort zone this morning as I dressed. I've got it all on - a dress, hose, heels, jewelry, and even a slip!

Of course I have to look put together, I'm the receptionist - or Front Desk Coordinator as we're now called. I have the skills of an executive assistant and could easily do those positions, but I don't know, I just like being the girl behind the giant marble desk. I've been doing this same position for over 10 years now. I like having the contact with all of the people coming and going. You can really perk up someone's day with just a smile and a "good morning" or "have a good evening". People think the receptionists are the bottom of the totem pole, and sometimes we are, but what you don't realize is that we're the ones who know everything that's going on in the company. We see who's coming and going, who's meeting whom, and who's calling. Up here in my little receptionist bubble (as I call it), I can see into all of the company groups and orgs without having to get wrapped up in them.

Well - It's the end of day one... and I made it! I have to admit I panicked a time or two today, but that's normal on a first day I think. Compared to my office of all of 25 people, this place is freaking huge! It's the corporate headquarters for a division of a Fortune 500 drilling, oil & gas company. What's wild is that even though it's the corporate headquarters, there's also a plant on site -- so in addition to managers and executives in their business dress, there are tons of guys in Dickie overalls and protective glasses walking through.

To be continued...

Speaking of hair...

2008-06-06T07:49:00.004-05:00

Speaking of cutting hair... I cut my arm yesterday while trimming the hair on my forearm. I think I should mention that I was driving down Louetta when it happened...

While driving home yesterday, I realized that even though the hair on my arms was very blonde, it was also SERIOUSLY long. So while stopped at a stoplight, I whipped out the scissors and proceeded to snip at it. Okay, really now - sometimes I'm so blonde and du-umb I scare myself. As if snipping at my arm hair in the car wasn't bad enough, common sense says PUT THE SCISSORS DOWN when the light turns green. But nooooo, not me! Just a couple of minutes and a little tap on the brakes later and I cut myself. Great...

That bitch took my hair!

2008-06-05T17:25:00.003-05:00

So... the company I'm going to work for requires all of its employees to pass both a urine and hair alcohol and drug test... No problem - or so I thought... All I know about hair follicle testing is what I've seen on CSI - where all they need is one hair with the follicle attached. Umm - not in the real world. The lady sectioned off part of my hair on the top of my head and took scissors to me. WHAT??? She cut a small patch out - about the width of a pencil. "Whoa, how much hair are you cutting?!" She said, "I'm not done." WHAT!?!?!?! She sectioned off and cut about three or four more sections. I couldn't believe it. Of course she took a little bit here and a little bit there, so I didn't have a gaping hole/missing chunk of hair, but still. I can feel the little snags of fuzz at my scalp where she cut the pieces out. As soon as she stopped, I thought "why didn't I ask if she could cut it from the underside of my hair by my neck?" Of course it was too late then. While she was cutting, I was just frozen in place. I kept thinking, "that's got to be the last bit right? RIGHT????" I'm still freaking out about it... I can't wait to see what my stylist says at my hair appointment next week. Probably ask me if it was the result of big night of drinking.

I got a job! A temp job!

2008-06-05T16:57:00.003-05:00

Woohoo, I got a job! A temp job of course though... I start Tuesday on an assignment in The Woodlands that should last 4 - 6 months. I'm so excited! I know, I know. I'm a dork to get excited over a job, but I've been in such a slump for so long this is a welcome change.

Eskimo Hut

2008-06-03T07:06:00.003-05:00

Eskimo Hut is a convenience store/beverage barn down the road from my house. They've had this sign out front for weeks now. Umm... three WHAT for a dollar on Tuesdays? I've been tempted to go give them a dollar and ask for three back...

I'm back!

2008-05-30T10:14:00.003-05:00

I'm baaaaaack!! Miss me??

Sorry for disappearing like that - I've been swamped with work stuff. This changing jobs thing is complicated! First we interviewed candidates for my replacement 2 weeks ago - part of the deal was they each had to work a day with me shadowing them to see how they handled things. Then I spent last week training the one they selected - God that was tedious. I mean I was the receptionist -- I didn't do enough to warrant training someone for a week. Two, three days maybe, but not five. I went home after lunch Thursday & Friday - what were they going to do, fire me? LOL

I was officially unemployed as of Tuesday this week. I've spent this week calling and interviewing with agencies. I swear, I'm totally brain dead from all of the skills and computer tests I've taken. Every time I go through this process, I always wish I could take those damn tests once and just share the scores with all of them.

Anyway - I'm now officially registered with three agencies. Two are branches of larger corporations, and one's an independent firm. Hopefully I'll start getting assignments and get back to work next week.

Not around much

2008-05-18T20:15:00.002-05:00

I know I know... I haven't been around much lately. I was swamped last week at work, and unfortunately I'm going to be swamped again this week. We were interviewing candidates for my replacement last week, and I trained them each for a day - sort of a working test day. My last day is this Friday the 23rd. We selected someone; she starts tomorrow -- I'll be training her all week. I normally do all of my blogging at work. After surfing the web and goofing on the computer all day, I rarely get on the computer at home in the evenings.

So... I'll try to check in, in the evenings this week. Keep you posted on my random thoughts of the week.

Goodbye Ron Stone

2008-05-13T14:06:00.002-05:00

"Veteran Houston news anchor Ron Stone dies at 72"

Wow. Ron Stone died. If you're outside of Houston, you've probably never heard of Ron Stone, but I grew up watching him on tv every day. He was a fixture on Houston newscasts from 1972 to 1992. He was an anchor at our NBC affiliate KPRC Channel 2, and hosted a weekly program 'The Eyes of Texas' which "focused on unique people, events and places throughout the state of Texas". He was a local celebrity, and really more of a member of the family to most of us. I remember seeing him eating lunch at the counter in 59 Diner about 12 - 13 years ago and being starstruck.

Houston has lost an icon - one of the good 'ole Texan gentlemen. He will be greatly missed.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/chronicle/5776076.html

http://www.click2houston.com/news/15925957/detail.html

Mother's Day Presents

2008-05-12T09:34:00.005-05:00

Hubby did really well this year with my Mother's Day presents. He got me exactly what I wanted! I told my mother a month or so ago that I wanted 2 pendants from James Avery for Mother's Day. (I spotted them while buying my cousin's charm bracelet.) Mom passed the word, and hubby listened...

Here they are - I want to wear both on the same chain. I'm dropping the first one off today to be engraved with Benjamin's name & birthdate.

"Sweep The Leg" - No More Kings

2008-05-09T11:17:00.005-05:00

I just HAD to post this video. With Benjamin starting Karate that's been about all I've had on my brain for the past week. And his Sensei calls the younger students "Karate Kids". "Are you Karate Kids? Do Karate Kids act like that, or are Karate Kids disciplined?" etc etc.

It's a long video, but oh so worth it... (I think anyway...)

Band Adjustment - I'M HUNGRY!

2008-05-09T10:43:00.003-05:00

Okay - so I totally fell off the diet wagon recently. I've gained 10lbs since March - not happy!! I noticed that I've been able to eat a lot more lately, it takes more food to fill me up. That's a sign that I need a band adjustment/fill. So, I got one this morning. This is my 4th adjustment so far. I swear, I don't care how many times they do it, having someone stick a needle in my stomach FREAKS ME OUT every time! Ugh! I get more nervous and anxious about this than I did with the surgery itself! and really - the needle she uses is TINY - I'm actually stuck with two needles - first she injects something that numbs the area and then she sticks me again to do the actual fill - I don't feel any pain with the fill. It's just a bit uncomfortable. And it's over before you realize.

Now comes the hard part... I'm on liquids only today and tomorrow, soft foods Sunday and Monday, and I can go back to real food Monday or Tuesday. But I swear, I don't care how many smoothies and protein shakes I drink, I'm always hungry! I know it's a mental thing, but I just want to be able to chew my food! Ugh! Oh well... it's only 2 days... I can handle it...

I think...

Bumper sticker of the week

2008-05-08T13:19:00.003-05:00

THURSDAY THIRTEEN - Movie Quotes

2008-05-08T09:01:00.006-05:00

Here are some of my favorite movies to quote. They all have more than one quote, so I decided to pick my top 13 movies not 13 quotes.

1. Real Genius -

"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates when he said, "I drank what?"

"You get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative. "

"Think before you ask these questions, Mitch."

"Kent, this is God."

"This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated. "

2. Ghostbusters -

"Ray. If someone asks if you are a god, you say, YES!"

"Nimble little minx, isn't she?"

"You're right, no human being would stack books like this."

"Listen... do you smell something?"

"Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it? Egon, your mucus."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nice shootin', Tex!"

3. Twister:

"Uh... yeah, trust me. Rabbit is good, Rabbit is wise. "

"Cow. Another Cow. Actually I think that was the same one"

"Honey, your car is in a tree around the corner. "

"Find this road... it's like Bob's Road... "

4. Lion King:

"She's gonna EAT ME!" "Let me get this straight. You know her. She knows you. But she wants to eat him. And everybody's okay with this? Did I miss something?"

"Tell me about it. I just hear that name and I shudder. Mufasa! Ooooh! Do it again! Mufasa! Ooooh! Mufasa, Mufasa, Mufasa! Ooooh! [breaks into laughter] And it tingles me! I'm surrounded by idiots"

5. Jurassic Park:

"Must go faster. Must go faster."

"Is it heavy? Uhh yeah. Then it's expensive, put it back."

" Now eventually you might have dinosaurs on your, on your dinosaur tour, right? Hello? yes?"

"Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming. " (that's actually from Jurassic Park 2)

6. Steel Magnolias:

"In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight."

"Pink is my signature color."

"All gay men have track lightin'. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve."

"Looks like two pigs fightin' under a blanket."

"Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!"

"They'd been smokin' everything but their shoes."

"You are evil, and you must be destroyed."

"you sound almost chipper. What happened today - you run over a small child or something?"

"Well, these thighs haven't gone out of the house without lycra on them since I was 14."

"Oh! He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he PEES in it!"

"He is a boil on the butt of humanity!"

7. Fried Green Tomatoes:

"Face it, girls, I'm older and I have more insurance."

"How many of them hormones you takin', honey?"

"Towanda! Righter of Wrong, Queen Beyond Compare!"

8. Adventures in Babysitting:

"Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell. Don't fuck with the babysitter."

" if either of you give me any grief I swear to God I'll kill you. Dead, murdered, stabbed."

"The chick is losing it."

9. Emperor's New Groove"

"No touchy! no touch!"

"I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the Emperor's groove."

"Yay. I'm a llama again! Wait..."

10. Dude Where's May Car?:

"Dude... SWEET!"

"And then? No "and then"! And then!"

11. Lilo & Stitch:

"Coconut cake AND coffee!"

"Also cute and fluffy!"

"I like fluffy!"

"No more caffeine for you."

"Stitch is troubled. He needs desserts! Desserts!"

12. Sneakers:

"I want peace on earth and goodwill toward men. We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing."

"Cattle mutilations are up."

" "Give him head"? "Be a beacon" ?"

"I want a Winnebago. Fully equipped, big kitchen, water bed...AM-FM, CD, microwave. Burgundy interior."

13. Toy Story:

"YOU! ARE! A! TOYYYYY! You're not the real Buzz Lightyear! You're - you are an action figure! You are a child's play-thing!"

"You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity."

"What's wrong with him? Laser envy."

"Ages three and up! It's on my box! Ages three and up!"

"You're mocking me, aren't you?"

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!http://www.thursdaythirteen.com/

Karaoke Man

2008-05-07T19:15:00.002-05:00

Hubby & I were reminiscing recently and brought up KARAOKE MAN. Oh wow, I hadn't thought about KARAOKE MAN in ages!

So... I met Karaoke Man about a month after I moved into my last apartment I lived in while I was single. (was that a sentence?) It was a nice day out and I'd opened my windows to let the breeze in - when some music drifted in. At first I thought it was an outdoor concert down the road, then I realized it was coming from next door. My Asian next door neighbor was singing karaoke, and if that wasn't enough, he had a MAJOR accent and serious difficulty with English. So, instead of hearing "Feelings, nothing more than feelings" I heard"feewing, noting more dan feewing". If THAT wasn't enough, it turned out that was the first of an almost daily serenade of the SAME song from Karaoke Man. Day or night, 2am, 12pm, 3pm, 8am or 4am - it didn't matter. As he went on, he'd get louder and louder until it was coming through the walls. I complained to the apartment managers several times. Of course they died laughing thinking it was the funniest thing they'd heard. I told them you wouldn't think that after your fourth sleepless night of "feewings" vibrating through your walls. They sent him several letters, but he ignored them, and there really wasn't anything they could do - he wasn't breaking any laws, just being an inconsiderate neighbor. I'd started dating hubby during this time too. OMG, the first time he heard Karaoke Man, he nearly died. Again, of course it's funny the first time you hear it - around 5pm, but oh wow was hubby ticked off the first time it woke him up at 3:00am. After the 4th or so night of it, he asked me, "does he EVER stop?" Nope! That's his favorite pass time!

I was tortured with Karaoke Man for about 4 - 6 months until he moved out. Wow - I' never loved silence so much in my life. The new neighbors weren't perfect, they had a noisy kid who loved to play on the landing right outside my front door. But I didn't care, I'd take a noisy kid any day over "feewing, noting more dan feewing"!

Ladies Restroom Etiquette

2008-05-07T08:52:00.002-05:00

I was listening to XM Radio's comedy station this morning on the way in to work, and a female comic was talking about the unwritten etiquette rules of the ladies restroom. It's funny, I recently had this talk with hubby - asked him if the same rules apply for public men's restrooms. His answer was - well after first looking at me like I was insane, I believe he made some comment about women being nuts. Apparently, no - men's rooms don't have the unwritten etiquette rules. Two classic examples of this are 1) hubby's coworker, upon emerging from the men's room at the office made a comment along the lines of "that would have killed a normal man" - and 2) unfortunately my desk at the office is directly across the hall from the restrooms. My male coworkers will actually warn each other not to go into the men's room for a while until the haze clears.

There are just a few clear rules for the ladies restroom that are never spoken about, but for some reason everyone knows and follows them.

- If there are several open stalls, do not go into the stall immediately next to someone. Always leave an empty stall on either side when possible. Same with the sinks. If you're in a large restroom like a movie theater or airport with tons of sinks, do not pick the sink immediately next to someone. We have very large comfort zones in restrooms.

- Do not fart or poo if there is someone else in the restroom. I have on several occasions left the restroom when I REALLY had to go because there was someone else in there. I've waited until the person left, or at work before gone to a different floor to use the restroom.

- If you must pass gas or 'go potty', flush repeatedly so no one else can hear you. Now of course you obviously know what's going on if you hear the repeated flushes, but of course that's not spoken of. AND - if you're still in there when the flusher emerges from the stall, do not make eye contact. She's embarrassed enough as it is.

This last one isn't one of the "written in stone unspoken rules" but more of a common courtesy request. Please don't talk on your cell phones while in the stall. One, the person you're speaking to most likely doesn't like hearing the toilets flushing and all of the other bathroom noise. But also, it makes the other women in the bathroom very self conscious.

So anyway... just my contribution to the manners of society...

Chimney Swifts

2008-05-05T13:06:00.003-05:00

We have a family of chimney swifts living in our (what else?) chimney. They adopted us last year. I called a chimney sweep company last fall and asked what we could do about it. I didn't want them killed, I just wanted to put a cap or something on top of our chimney to make sure they didn't come back this year. What I was mainly worried about was lighting the fire last winter and having the nests catch fire possibly causing the house to catch fire! The chimney guys came out & inspected the fireplace/chimney, and actually told us that birds aside, we shouldn't light another fire in the fireplace. We do not have a cap on the top of the chimney (obviously) and the rain washing down the sides had worn away the mortar in between the bricks inside the chimney. That meant the heat from the fires was not being vented out the top of the chimney, but into the walls and attic. SERIOUS fire hazard. The guy basically said that even one more fire could catch the house on fire. Umm... okay, no fire for us! So... how much does it cost to fix a problem like that?? about $4,000! Yikes! I'm sorry, I LOVE my fireplace - especially the ease of having a gas log, but we live in Houston - the South, basically the face of the sun! No fireplace in Houston is worth $4,000 - not for the, what - 3 times a year it's cold enough to use it? No thank you! So - we decided that we're going to remove the hearth, and use the brick from that to brick over the fireplace, leaving us with one brick wall in the living room.

AND - because there's no worry about a fire anymore, we left the top of the chimney open for the chimney swifts. I've actually learned a lot about them. For one, they're protected - it's illegal to kill or even just disturb their nests. The chimney people said that they'd have to wait until the family leaves to remove the debris from the next. It's a BIG fine if you're caught removing a nest. Also, once they find a nesting place, they come back every year for life, and then the babies come back every year too. So, unless we put a cap on top of the chimney, we're the hosts of families of chimney swifts. Which really, is fine with me. They're noisy little suckers, but honestly I like it. I've gotten used to their chirping. They're usually loudest at sunrise and sunset, that's when the parents leave & return with dinner so the kids are all worked up. And it's the babies who make the most noise. They'll stay with us for about 6 months, until the babies are old enough to fly away, and then they'll migrate where ever they go in the winter. But we'll see them again next spring and it starts all over again.

http://www.chimneyswifts.org/

Quit my job - yikes!

2008-05-05T12:53:00.003-05:00

Oh my goodness. I just turned in my resignation at work. May 23rd is my last day. YIKES! I hope I'm doing the right thing! Actually, I know I am. It's just a big change and really hard for me. I miss so much time being out sick, I've already used up all of my vacation and sick time for the year. I did the same thing last year, used up all of my time by April and so I had no days off for the rest of the year. Besides, it really is hard on the office for the receptionist to be out so much. They have to scramble to get a temp in to cover the switchboard every time. It's not like a general admin position where my work can just wait until I get back. Plus, I really hate that I've missed out on several chances to volunteer at my son's school this year. Like next week is his Field Day, I REALLY wish I could take the day off to be his cheerleader for the day, but I just can't. BUT - with quitting my full-time job, I'm going to work temp again. That way I have a more flexible schedule and I can just choose to work certain days or not. I've been here 4 years though - the longest I've been at any job. This is going to be a big change for me. I'm soooo scared! My stomach was so queasy this morning when I had to tell my boss, my nerves had me all tied up in knots!

Wish me luck! and I'll keep you posted...

Buddhist Thought for the Day

2008-05-01T15:18:00.002-05:00

Okay - I'm a relatively intelligent person, and I've been studying Buddhism for a little over two years now. But I have NO IDEA what this means. I get daily "Buddhist Thought for the Day" on my igoogle home page, and I really have no idea what they're trying to say with this one. If you understand it, please let me know - thanks!

Buddhism: Your Daily Meditation
A myriad bubbles were floating on the surface of a stream. 'What are you?' I cried to them as they drifted by. 'I am a bubble, of course' nearly a myriad bubbles answered, and there was surprise and indignation in their voices as they passed. But, here and there, a lonely bubble answered, 'We are this stream', and there was neither surprise nor indignation in their voices, but just a quiet certitude. - Ask the Awakened by Wei Wu Wei

Karate Boy!

2008-05-01T14:53:00.001-05:00

Okay I have to be a bragging Mom for a sec here... Benjamin started karate class this week. He has class Tuesday and Thursday evenings. He's SO CUTE!! I know I know, he'd probably die of embarrassment if he heard me call him that, but he IS! Hiya! Yes Sensei Sir! LOL He gets his uniform and belt tonight. I'll post pics as soon as I can.

Oh and I'm turning into a total soccer mom... The school has stickers for your car. I always said I hated that when you see the big SUV's with "Kaitlyn's" dance school sticker on the back. But I'm SO tempted to get one from the martial arts school!

Thursday Thirteen 05/01/08 - Strange Illnesses

2008-05-01T09:27:00.005-05:00

In honor of having yet another obscure illness recently, I thought I’d list my top 13 weird illnesses or hospital stays.

Thirteen Strange Illnesses/Conditions I’ve had so far:

1. Hand Foot & Mouth Virus
2. Viral Meningitis
3. Chickenpox TWICE as a kid
4. Thoracic Outlet Syndrome
5. Interstitial Cystitis
6. Scarlet Fever
7. Whooping Cough
8. Tadpole Pupil
9. Basilar Artery Migraines
10. Repetitive Motion Sprain of my right thumb from playing my ipod & texting too much.
11. Herpes on my left knee
12. Bursitis of my right knee
13. Hypothyroidism

My friends are taking bets on how long until I get the plague…

Thirteen surgeries/hospital stays:

1. This should actually count as three, cause I’ve had three, but… laser surgery for endometriosis.
2. Top right two ribs removed because of Thoracic Outlet Syndrome.
3. Tonsillectomy (at 31 I might add)
4. Sinus surgery from sinus infection that lasted 6 months.
5. Surgery to repair tendonitis in right wrist
6. Lap-Band
7. C-section when my son was born
8. Does stitches count? I had my right foot slammed in a car door as a child, requiring stitches.
9. Hospital stay for viral meningitis 1999
10. Hospital stay for pregnancy complications 2001
11. Hospital stay for migraines 2006
12. Hospital stay for tachycardia & migraines 2007
13. Hospital stay for hand foot & mouth disease 2008

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!http://www.thursdaythirteen.com

Cooking at home

2008-04-29T08:58:00.004-05:00

This may come as a serious shock to some of you, but I have actually been cooking meals at home. YES you heard that correctly!! Now while most of the weeknight meals have been from a box or frozen (for time's sake), I've cooked Sunday meals from scratch for the past 3 weeks or so. I have to give myself a little pat on the back for this past Sunday's dinner - homemade chicken noodle soup. Hubby & I were both having serious allergy attacks this weekend, and chicken soup just sounded good to me. I cheated a little, it wasn't COMPLETELY from scratch - I bought a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken from HEB and just pulled the meat off. But other than that, the veggies & everything else were fresh. It was seriously yummy! I'm starting to love my new oven too - baking chicken & such is soooo easy now (dinner the previous two Sundays). Now if I could only get over my phobia of the crock pot... I'm always afraid it'll catch on fire & burn the house down if you leave it on while not home...

Bumper sticker of the week 04/28

2008-04-28T10:15:00.003-05:00

The most heard phrase in my house recently... Oh the joy of being a parent...

Books books and more books!

2008-04-28T09:33:00.002-05:00

I am sooooo dangerous in a bookstore. Hubby and I stopped into Barnes & Noble on Saturday. An hour and $87 later he had to DRAG me out of the store. I'm such a bookworm. I absolutely LOVE books. I always have a huge stack waiting to be read. Here are my current selections:

1. I'm currently reading the complete set of The Chronicles of Narnia, starting with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

2. I'm halfway through Christine Feehan's GhostWalker series - there are 5 of those, I've read 3 so far.

3. I just bought the first in Christine Feehan's Dark Series (vampire series) - there are so far 18 in that series.

4. Bought the first in Kelley Armstrong's Otherworld Series - I read book 8 last year, now I want to start at the beginning. There are 11 so far in that series.

5. I have all three of MJ Rose's Butterfield Institute series. I've started book 1 twice now, but put it down.

6. I picked up Lisa Jackson's latest hardback "Lost Souls" on Saturday.

7. and The Ghost Map by Steven Johnson. It looked interesting, about the cholera outbreak in London in 1854.

8. I started reading "Beautiful Children" by Charles Bock a few weeks ago, but it didn't really grab me, so I switched to something else. I may go back to it after I've read all of my others.

9. I still need to finish the Incarnations of Immortality series by Piers Anthony. I've read the first three of seven.

10. I started George Orwell's 1984 too. That one's so small, I need to just finish it.

11. and The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters by Gordon Dalhquist. That one's HUGE and lost my interest about 1/3 into it.

12. I have Ghost Story by Peter Straub

13. and Velocity by Dean Koontz

14. and TONS of Meditation and Buddhist books I read from time to time. I love reading the Dalai Lama's books.

I think that's it for now. I have about 20-something waiting to be read. Wow - I didn't realize it was that many -- I need to hop to it!

Letter from CS Lewis

2008-04-25T17:06:00.003-05:00

I just had to share this...

I'm reading the Chronicles of Narnia for the first time, starting with The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe. CS Lewis wrote the following dedication for the book:

To Lucy Barfield...

My Dear Lucy,

I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realized that girls grow quicker than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. You can then take it down from some upper shelf, dust it, and tell me what you think of it. I shall probably be too deaf to hear, and too old to understand a word you say, but I shall still be

your affectionate Godfather,

CS Lewis

One of my favorite sayings (and I have it on my blog profile) is "we don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing." Maybe it's because I get my name from Wendy in Peter Pan or maybe because I'm a tad obsessed with Alice in Wonderland, but I don't think we're ever too old for fairy tales. The world can be a magical place filled with fairies and unicorns, trolls and elves, princesses and godmothers, witches and warlocks, and all sorts of mythical creatures and characters. You just have to believe in the magic that's all around and inside each of us.

The little things

2008-04-25T13:55:00.003-05:00

I love the little things that make you smile & giggle... Like when my boss called my cell phone at lunch, and the ringtone I've set for the office is "Take This Job and Shove It"... makes me giggle every time... Same thing when my mother calls and the evil emperor's Imperial March from Star Wars plays...

I want a dog

2008-04-25T13:38:00.002-05:00

I've been in a total dog mood lately. I want a puppy! Well, I think I want a puppy...

Hubby says no. We already have 3 cats, and besides he doesn't think I'll like owning a dog. He says I like the idea of having a dog, but I wouldn't actually enjoy having a dog. I don't have the patience for a dog. Which is right I think. I really am a cat person.

Anyway... so I told my friend that I want a puppy and I was trying to figure out which breed to get... he sent me a link to the "Pet-O-Matic". It's a little quiz where you answer several questions and it tells you which type of animal is best for you as a pet. Great! So I'm thinking it'll help me pick out what kind of puppy I want. I entered in my info and it told me... my perfect pet is a CAT. Well I guess that settles it. Even the computer says I'm not a dog person. Oh well, I guess it's not meant to be!

Happy Secretary's Day

2008-04-24T16:29:00.002-05:00

So... yesterday was Admin Professionals Day. I didn't get anything. I didn't expect to get anything. That's just my boss.

1-800-flowers.com just delivered a flower arrangement with a Happy Birthday balloon for me! My birthday is in September! I think it's my Secretary's Day present... a day late... and wrong balloon... that's okay, it's the thought that counts right?

Thursday 13 - Places to Visit

2008-04-24T09:06:00.006-05:00

Thursday Thirteen is trying out THEME WEEKS. (They're throwing out a subject for you to 13 about.) This week's theme is thirteen places you’ve visited that you’d recommend. So here I go:

1. Fredericksburg Texas - one of my favorite places to disappear for a weekend. German food and my favorite cabin/bed & breakfast. http://www.knoppschoolroad.com/

2. St. Croix US Virgin Islands - I'd live there if I could.

3. New Orleans - what can I say, it's still home.

4. LAS VEGAS BABY!

5. Key West Florida

6. Keystone Colorado

7. Disneyworld / Orlando Florida

8. Seattle Washington

9. Mississippi Gulf Coast

10. Galveston Texas

11. Mexico

12. San Antonio Texas

13. Houston of course!

Wow... I didn't realize how hard it'd be to come up with 13 different places. I guess I haven't really travelled that much... I need to work on that!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Bumper Sticker of the week 04/22/08

2008-04-22T15:53:00.006-05:00

This has always been one of my favorites. I'd sooooo have it on my car, but my mothers would kill me!

Jimmy Buffett, Parrotheads, and Me

2008-04-22T15:15:00.002-05:00

Ever been somewhere sometime, you look around and suddenly wonder "what the hell am I doing HERE?" Yeah well that was me last night. Somehow I intentionally bought tickets to a Jimmy Buffett concert. Now don't get me wrong, I like Jimmy Buffett. I mean c'mon you'd have to be a communist or something to not love Jimmy Buffett. His music is so much fun and infectious, you just HAVE to love it. BUT - I was soooo out of my element last night. I thought about it and I can honestly say that I have never once intentionally put on a Jimmy Buffett cd. I don't know the different songs, and I sure as hell don't know the words to the songs. BUT - hubby does, and I love hubby, and this was for him. He had a freaking BLAST last night I'm sure. For the past 12 years I've drug him to all of my stuffy concerts and shows etc - this was his turn.

The gates opened at 6:30pm and the concert started at 8:00pm. If you don't know the Woodlands Pavilion, it's an outdoor arena with a covered seated section, and then this big hill with "lawn seats" (the grassy knoll as we referred to it) where you just plant you butt and that's your seat. We got there about 6:45ish and managed to snag a pretty good spot down towards the front of the hill and then the fun began - the people watching. Umm... wow. Parrotheads are a pretty unique crowd! The crowd spanned from older broke hippies and super rich baby boomers who you know have been going to the concerts since the 70's to the mid-30's professionals/kids of the hippies who grew up with Jimmy, to the college guys/20 something's who routinely get plastered listening to Jimmy, to the ones we couldn't quite figure out - the teenage girls & guys in bathing suits. and I swear this was the biggest freaking love fest I've ever been to - even with the majority of the people drunk before the concert even started, it was still just la-le-la happy times. Of course, I'm sure half of the audience was passing pot around too and that would mellow anyone out but still... And the outfits - OMG! Of course there were parrot & Hawaiian shirts EVERYWHERE - including hubby I might add. People in grass skirts with coconut bra tops (way too many men in that get up - blech!), bikinis and bathing suits, bermuda shorts & Hawaiian shirts, hats of every sort - shark hats, cheeseburger hats, parrot hats, hats with lights, hats with drinks, you name it! People looked like blooming idiots, but no one cared - everyone was just having a great time. Even though I didn't know the music, I still had a blast. I just sat there on the grass, swaying to the beat, laughing at the drunks (again, hubby included) and watching 10,000 of my closest friends dance with their hands like shark fins on their heads.

Weight Loss Vow

2008-04-22T12:43:00.002-05:00

Okay - I'm making this official. I mean it this time, I'm sticking with it. I'm putting it in writing so there are witnesses.

I haven't lost any weight since December. I was doing really good last fall after my surgery, lost 30 lbs in three months. Then came the holidays, then vacation, and then it was just plain laziness - but I fell back into my old routines of eating whatever crap I wanted & not exercising. I'm going to gain back what little I've lost so far if I keep this up.

So, no more excuses. Here I go...

- I have an appointment for a band adjustment (which will help tons).

- I'm cutting out the fast food, junk, and sweets.

- I'm going to work out AT LEAST 3 days a week. (I pay for the gym membership, I need to use it.)

- I'm going to drink all of my water.

No more excuses. I've buckled down and done it before - I can do it now. I WILL lose the weight.

Thursday Thirteen 04/17/08

2008-04-17T10:14:00.006-05:00

Okay... I'm starting a new thing for my blog... I'm joining the ranks of Thursday Thirteen... So here's my first list...

Thirteen 80's movies I absolutely adore. This is nowhere near a complete list of course, just the first 13 that I could think of:

1. Uncle Buck

2. Tremors

3. Jumpin Jack Flash

4. Sixteen Candles

5. Ferris Bueller's Day Off 6. The Burbs7. Ghostbusters
8. Girls Just Want To Have Fun
9. The Goonies

10. Footloose

11. Real Genius
12. Adventures in Babysitting
13. Beetlejuice

Still alive... still stoned...

2008-04-16T09:12:00.002-05:00

Here's my latest health update...

Hubby took me to the ER Monday afternoon. My headache was crippling. I don't think it's hurt that much since I had viral meningitis in 1999. The ER doc gave me an IV cocktail of steroids and pain meds to try to knock it out. It didn't kill the pain completely, but it did dope me up enough that I didn't really care about the pain (which is also a good thing dontcha think?) I'll tell you one thing though, I did not like one of the meds he gave me AT ALL. It really made me just freak out on the insides. Outwardly, I was laying on a gurney, dozing, but inside my head I was battling with myself trying to keep myself down. I got REALLY ansy and just wanted to jump up & run all around the ER. It was really weird. I felt like I was jerking constantly, like having a fit, trying to brush things off of me. But all that was happening on the inside, on the outside, I was laying there happy as a clam. I stayed in the ER for a few hours until the meds could take effect & get the pain under control and then he sent me home to rest. Of course though, the pain came back Monday night as soon as the IV meds wore off -- I just knew that was going to happen.

I went to see my neurologist yesterday - brainstorm with him to see what's causing this and what we can do to make it better. My body has done this before - this is actually my third year in a row to get headaches like this. In the past I've had some sort of health trauma or illness that has thrown my body chemistry off and triggered a migraine. The doc thinks that's the case this time too - that the hand foot & mouth virus triggered the headache. Even though the virus itself is long gone, it really affected my system - stirred up the water so to speak - and it's just going to take time for everything to calm back down and fall back into the correct places. Unfortunately, that means I'll have to deal with the pain until that happens. He told me to stay on my current pain meds and gave me an additional migraine med to take this week. If he's correct and this is definitely just all after-effects of the virus, the meds should take care of it and the headache should be gone completely by Monday. If not, he'll schedule an MRI just to be safe & make sure we don't overlook anything.

Back to the hospital for me

2008-04-14T10:23:00.002-05:00

Hubby's on his way to take me to the hospital. I am in SO MUCH PAIN. I've had a killer migraine headache for the last 4 days or so that's just gotten worse. I spent most of the weekend doped up in bed, but my home drugs aren't cutting it anymore. I can't concentrate, can't drive, can barely walk, I'm shaky - you name it. I don't know if is residual from the virus I had, side effects of the steroids/meds my doc has me on or what... but OH MY GOD - I just want the pain to stop, it's horrific.

I'll keep you posted...

Still Under the Weather

2008-04-11T13:44:00.003-05:00

Ugh... this week sucks for my family healthwise. I've been battling a killer migraine again for two days... and now my son's school nurse just called - he's in her clinic with an upset stomach... wonderful...

Kendall's Bday Present - SPOILER ALERT

2008-04-11T13:06:00.003-05:00

I'm so excited about Kendall's birthday present - I HAVE to share!

**SPOILER ALERT**

Kendall Evan, you don't get this until tomorrow night, so no peeking!!

Kendall, my baby cousin, turned 16 this past Wednesday, April 9th. With it being her Sweet 16, I wanted to give her something special she can cherish, so... I stopped by James Avery, one of the best jewelry stores around, on Wednesday and picked up the beginning pieces for a charm bracelet. I wanted to buy every charm they carried, but of course that was out of the question. So I settled on three: her K initial, a Sweet 16 heart, and a ladybug - for good luck. There were two though that I just couldn't get out of my head and I HAD to go back for them today - a spur and a rose to represent our grandparents. Our grandmother died when Kendall was a month old, and our grandfather when she was three. I know they're both looking down on her from heaven, and this way she can have something special to remind her whenever she needs.

Bumper Sticker of the Week 04/09/08

2008-04-09T21:06:00.002-05:00

In honor of my newly returned Battlestar Gallactica...

Sick Last Week... Hand Foot & Mouth Disease

2008-04-09T12:42:00.005-05:00

Why can't I get the normal illnesses most other adults get? Why do I always have to be different and unique? As you can tell, I've been MIA for the last week & a half... let me fill you in on all of the fun details...

It started on Sunday March 30th, I suddenly developed a high fever out of the blue, and my throat started to hurt. So, I spent Sunday and Monday snuggled under the covers in bed. My throat was feeling worse on Tuesday and I made an appt to see the doc. My strep test came back negative, but all of my symptoms pointed towards strep, so he decided it must be a different strain of strep and treated me for that anyway. That same day, I noticed a little tiny red spot on my right thumb that made my whole thumb ache like you wouldn't believe. It wasn't anything big enough to even bring to the doc's attention, I thought it was a splinter or something. (Telling him about it later, he agreed that he would've just blown it off since it was just one little bump.) Wednesday morning I woke up with a rash & painful red bumps/blisters/sores all over the palms of my hands, bottoms of my feet, and inside my mouth. I rushed back to the doc first thing that morning and he said it was classic symptoms of Hand Foot & Mouth disease (HFM) - high fever, sore throat, and the rash/bumps. I'd thought of that myself too - my son had HFM when he was three. HFM is a childhood illness, in the chicken pox family. It's spread through contact/dirty hands etc. It's one of the illnesses, like chicken pox, that once you've had it, you should be immune. Unfortunately for me, I'm not immune to the virus that causes all the illnesses in that family -- I've had chicken pox twice, scarlet fever, shingles, herpes on my knee, and now hand foot & mouth. We're thinking my son acted as a carrier and brought the virus home from school or day care -- of course he's immune since he's had it before. So anyway... I was completely miserable on Wednesday -- you don't think about just how painful blisters/sores on your feet & palms and inside your mouth can be. I couldn't walk, could barely handle anything, couldn't eat -- I spent the rest of Wednesday & Thursday on the couch with my feet propped up, eating popsicles. Friday I woke up and the rash had spread everywhere - it was ALL OVER. Plus, my hands were so swollen, several fingernails had turned blue and I'd lost the feeling in those fingertips. So back to the doctor I went. The doc said he still wanted to say it was HFM but he wasn't 100% sure anymore since the rash had spread. With it being Friday and the weekend just around the corner, we both agreed the best thing for me would be to go to the hospital for observation & treatment. Plus, he wanted an infectious disease specialist to see me, and the fastest way to make that happen would be to admit me -- otherwise it would have to wait until the following week. So, by 3:30pm on Friday, I was an official guest of Tomball Hospital. Ever hear of the shotgun approach to medicine? That's where the doc tests for everything and sees what comes back positive -- like shooting a shotgun at a target, SOMETHING has to hit it. I think he ordered one of every blood test possible - the phlebotomist took out 14 tubes of blood! The results from the more standard tests came back normal, but we're still waiting on the more obscure ones - lyme's disease, rocky mountain spotted fever, coxsackie (HFM) virus, hepatitis, even hiv & syphillis. He also set me up with some heavy duty IV antibiotics and steroids. I think it was the steroids that did the trick, because the rash was SIGNIFICANTLY better by the time I woke up on Saturday. The specialist saw me on Saturday too and agreed with my doc that it was HFM. He said the rash had spread and I just had a more severe reaction to it since I'm an adult. (the same thing happens with adults who get chicken pox too, I hear.) Since it IS just a virus, there's not much we can do to treat it. The steroids help with the rash & swelling, but we just have to let the virus run it's course and leave on its own. I'm feeling much better now and the rash is almost completely gone, just the most severe spots on my hands & feet are still here. I'm afraid a few spots will scar, but they're not too bad - pretty small. My throat is scratchy & my voice comes & goes -- I figure that's from the sores in my mouth & throat healing. The worst part right now is the skin has peeled off of my fingertips - the ones that were numb & swollen. They look like I've been burned, and they're SO sensitive. But again, oh well... ce'est la vie!

I have strep... yuck

2008-04-01T14:51:00.001-05:00

The doctor said I have strep throat... wonderful...

Sick Again

2008-03-31T15:26:00.002-05:00

Ugh... I'm sick again. I really hate this. I swear, if there's a germ within 4 blocks of me, it'll get me. I'm stuck in bed today with a fever, aches & pains, sore throat & chest... I feel like I've been run over by a Mack truck... again...

I Am Legend

2008-03-30T13:16:00.003-05:00

I watched I Am Legend last night. It was pretty good. To me, anything Will Smith does is good -- I really like him as an actor. I'd read reviews and write ups about how he's the only actor in Hollywood who'd be able to pull off being the ONLY person in the movie for over an hour. That's so true -- and he did it so well. In case you didn't know (and I'll try not to spoil any of the plot for you), the movie I Am Legend is based on a Richard Matheson book (of the same name) written in 1947 and takes place in 'futuristic' 1976. They updated the plot to make the movie take place in 2012. It's reminds me of 28 Days Later, where a virus is mistakenly unleashed on humanity and kills several billion people... those it doesn't kill, devolve into animalistic, vampire type creatures. They lose all characteristics of intelligent humans and live solely on instinct to feed and survive. A very small percentage of people are immune to the virus -- and almost all of those become food for the infected. Will Smith's character, Robert Neville, is an Army colonel and scientist, and the only uninfected person left in New York City. He spends his days hunting the nocturnal 'animals' and working in his lab to find a cure. At night he barricades himself in his house and prays for dawn.

While I really liked the movie, it had way too many plot holes for me to ignore. Some books are so detailed and in depth, there's no way it all can be transferred to the screen without losing about half of it. Most movies like this, the fantasy laced reality plots, I tell myself going into it not to look too closely at the details --- just assume it could all happen, don't apply logic. The perfect example of this is Tom Cruise's War of the Worlds. In one scene, an airline jumbo jet crashes into a neighborhood, destroying houses & everything else in the area, but miraculously leaving Tom's minivan untouched in the driveway. That's just one of several examples in the movie, but you get my point. I Am Legend is like that in several ways. I didn't notice so much inconsistencies like that, but more over chunks of plot that were left out/missing. It left me wondering, well what about this and what about that? It would mention a subplot line, but then just skate over it to something else. It left me thinking, 'wait! I want to know more about that'!

I've read several of Richard Matheson's books, discovered him first because of just that. I saw What Dreams May Come in 1998 and was left wanting to know more. I KNEW there was more to the story that wasn't in the movie. I've since read Hell House and Somewhere in Time (another of my favorite movies). I really like his books - they leave you wanting more once you're done.

So now I Am Legend has now been added to my wish list of books to read soon...

Zeno Acne Device

2008-03-28T12:53:00.004-05:00

I finally broke down & bought a Zeno Acne Clearing Device. It was expensive, $150, but hopefully worth it. I've researched it for months now - all the studies, magazine reviews, and customer reviews are great. So, I finally went for it. Besides, Walgreens offers a 30 day money back satisfaction guarantee on it.

I really hate having acne. Thank God I was on the pill throughout high school and in my 20's cause I had flawless skin then. But no longer... I've done the Proactiv thing, gone to dermatologists for prescription creams, taken antibiotics, pretty much tried everything on the market. I'm now using Dermalogica products. They're really good, but dry my face out if I use too much. So... I'm going to compliment that with the ZENO. I get facials every few months and my esthetician uses this wand (I call it the lightning zapper thingy) that electronically penetrates & kills the bacteria in my skin. It REALLY works and my zits clear up rather quickly. So - I'm hoping this is a mini version of that machine, and if so, I know it'll work. The clerk at Walgreen's couldn't stop raving about it. She said that she bought one for her teenage daughter and it REALLY worked. Her acne is pretty much gone. Woohoo! Here's hoping!

Peep Show

2008-03-27T14:58:00.003-05:00

a little post-holiday humor for you...

Torso Pants

2008-03-26T17:15:00.004-05:00

Wow... I know I've said this before, but still... I am SO BLONDE sometimes I amaze myself...

I found this website http://www.torsopants.com/... It took me about 15 minutes of searching through the pages and looking at the FAQ's etc to realize that they sell T-SHIRTS. I was actually looking for TORSO PANTS - like these really weird pants that are more like a jumper that cover your whole body from your neck to your ankles with holes cut out for your head & arms.

WOW... I think my brain hurts... is it time to go home yet??

Easter Pics

2008-03-26T16:45:00.005-05:00

Here are pics of Benjamin & my two nieces last weekend. Aren't they just the cutest?? I'm such a mom, I have to show off.

Benjamin & Daphne 1

Benjamin & Daphne 2

Benjamin, Daphne, & Lily

100% Boy... Dying Eggs with Benjamin

2008-03-26T16:20:00.006-05:00

The tradition in our house for Easter is that Benjamin and I dye eggs the Saturday night before Easter and leave them out for the Easter Bunny to hide Easter morning. This year we used crayons and special Easter egg markers to decorate the eggs. I swear, Benjamin is 100% boy and it even affects his egg decorating choices. I drew flowers and polka dots on my eggs. Benjamin starts out with making everyone's name "blank" 10 - as in Ben 10, his new favorite cartoon. Then he draws an alien on a green egg - of course. Then he asks me, "how do you spell PTHT NNNNNN" like someone's sticking his tongue out & giving raspberries. "You will NOT put that on an Easter egg!" "Fiiiiine..." Then he dyes an egg red for "blood" (of course) and draws a boy on it. "How do you spell 'Help I'm bleeding!"? "NO - you are NOT putting THAT on an Easter egg either." "How do you spell 'I'm hurt!'? "NO - there will be NO writing on the eggs, just pictures!"

Bumper Sticker of the Week 3/24 - 3/30

2008-03-26T09:46:00.002-05:00

Backlog of Blog

2008-03-25T15:29:00.002-05:00

I have a Blog Backlog! I've been really busy and stressed the past 7 or so days... I have all these thoughts for entries and just haven't had the time to type them! I'll spend the next couple of days catching up...

Foul & Mysterious Stench

2008-03-21T17:10:00.004-05:00

My house has stunk for the past week or so and it's driving me nuts. Well, last night we discovered the origin of the foul & mysterious odor...

Hubby & I were picking up the house last night, and he had the task of going through the boy's pile of crap in the breakfast area. About halfway through a pile of schoolwork from last week, he called me & said "umm... I think I've found the source of the bad odor in the house". Uh-oh, I'm scared... So I go over and he's holding a small white lunch sack decorated to look like a bunny (at arm's length btw). I look inside, and unfortunately got a whiff at the same time, there's a half peeled hard boiled egg inside. By this time it's green and fuzzy to boot! Apparently they had Easter eggs last week at school, and he didn't tell me he brought one home.

Oh the joys of parenthood...

Thank God the weather's great outside right now & we're able to open the windows and air the house out...

Fish again...

2008-03-19T09:38:00.005-05:00

Speaking of fish... I just HAD to share... We recently bought 3 fancy gold fish for the tank in the master bedroom -- and my husband named them. 1) Garfield, cause he's HUGE and fat and bright orange... 2) Odie cause he's Garfield's buddy of course... and... 3) Dog the Bounty Hunter. Oh Lord... He swears one of the calico fish's fin & tail look like a mullet, making the fish look like Dog the Bounty Hunter. Umm... okay dear... whatever you say...

RIP Gary the snail...

2008-03-19T09:30:00.002-05:00

We've had a death in the family... Gary the snail died. My son has a fish tank in his bedroom (works as a great nightlight AND Nana taught him that fish frighten monsters away - yay Nana!). Anyway, he has 3 goldfish - Sponge Bob, Patrick, and Mr. Crabs - and a blue snail, Gary of course. Gary's normally all over the place. One of our bedtime games is "where's Gary tonight?" (he gets in the weirdest places!). Unfortunately, Gary hasn't moved AT ALL in a few days, so I think he's gone to the great fish tank in the sky. I love kids' resiliency - when I told B the bad news, all he said was "does that mean I can get another one?"... My question though is, what do I do with the shell? I'd leave it in there, but doesn't it have a little snail corpse inside? I guess I'll just toss it in the trash tonight...

105.3 BOB FM

2008-03-17T14:20:00.004-05:00

This radio station had a float in the St. Patrick's Day parade yesterday. I LOVE their slogan! "We play anything... 80's, 90's, and whatever! 105.3 BOB FM"

Bumper Sticker of the week

2008-03-17T09:26:00.001-05:00

Crunched my garage door... ugh

2008-03-15T17:32:00.003-05:00

SO... last night I stopped my car at my mailbox before pulling into the driveway, when my son in the backseat suddenly started screaming bloody murder and crying hysterically. What the hell??? Turns out a huge grasshopper had flown in the car, and my son is TERRIFIED of bugs right now. So now I'm trying to calm him down, shoo the grasshopper out the windows, and pull the car into the driveway at the same time. I actually made it, stopped the car, and told B to get out. He couldn't - he was frozen in place with fear (great) staring at the grasshopper (which was on the ceiling right next to the dome light). Oh and btw, I thought I did a great job staying calm up to that point - I have to say, that was the biggest freaking grasshopper I'd ever seen. B finally started inching out the back door when the killer grasshopper dove at my head and down the collar of my shirt. OH MY GOD! I screamed and started yanking my shirt over my head. This is where things got bad... I thought the car was in park already and obviously I was wrong, because the next thing I knew I heard a loud crunch, looked up, and I was smushed against the garage door. In my screaming and yanking fit, my foot slipped off of the brake. THANK GOD I didn't hit the gas!! I rolled into the door, crunching/denting it and scratching my front bumper. It could have been a lot worse. Thank God for small miracles huh... The garage door's going to need to be replaced, but luckily we have home owner's insurance... and car insurance - which will cover the paint job my car's going to need...

Oh - and to top it all off, I'm walking out to the car with my son this morning and he says "I liked the garage door like it was before"... yeah, well me too...

Dry Cleaned Night Shirt

2008-03-14T15:13:00.003-05:00

So hubby took the clothes to the cleaners on Wednesday for me since I was sick and staying home... I got dressed, drove my son to school, and went straight back home & upstairs to lay in bed for the next 12 hours or so... but my nightshirt was missing - what the? It was right here before I left... right here on the closet floor... ooohhhhh - next to the pile headed to the cleaners.
So Wednesday night I asked my husband if he accidentally grabbed my nightshirt with the clothes --- he didn't know. huh?? "Well", he says, "they were really busy when I dropped the clothes off, so I just handed the lady the whole bag & she said she'd sort & count the pieces later". Great... So, I picked up the clothes yesterday and sure enough -mixed in with the others - was my newly dry cleaned $5 Walmart nightshirt. I think it probably cost the same to clean it as it did to buy it! (Not really, but it felt like it!)
Believe it or not, this isn't the first time Hubby's done that. Only the last time it was a negligee from Frederick's of Hollywood (back in my skinnier days). I can ALMOST see someone cleaning that, it was chiffon & satin after all. But a big tshirt from walmart? That's gotta be a new one for the cleaners.

Sick...

2008-03-13T09:43:00.002-05:00

Sorry I haven't written this week... my allergies have been kicking my butt... I stayed in bed all day yesterday because of them... I'll check in later and fill you in on all the latest happenings...

Zzzzzz...

2008-03-10T10:47:00.003-05:00

This is soooooo me today...

I miss hubby

2008-03-07T22:24:00.002-06:00

I miss my hubby. He's out of town tonight on business. My brother's staying with us so I won't be alone, but of course it's not the same. I know I won't be able to sleep. After sharing a bed with someone for 11 years, you just can't sleep alone. Well I won't actually be ALONE alone - I'll be sleeping with three fat lazy cats who just love to take over hubby's side of the bed...

Bumper Sticker of the Day

2008-03-06T15:33:00.003-06:00

I just started this 2 days ago and I already almost forgot. Actually, I think I'm going to change it to Bumper Sticker of the Week. That's more realistic.

Anyway -- since I already promised, here's today's... and it's oh so true...

Want a New Tattoo

2008-03-06T13:56:00.003-06:00

The pics of my toesies reminded me... I want another tattoo. I think I need one on my left foot to balance them out. My (new) friend Kim has one on her left foot that I adore. It's really odd how well it fits with mine. I think I'm going to ask if I can copy her...

Bright Blue Toenails!

2008-03-06T13:35:00.003-06:00

I treated myself to a pedicure last night. I hadn't had one since December. 4 months is an eternity to a princess like me! Anyway... I LOVE the seriously bright blue nail polish I picked out. It's almost blindingly bright! Though it does make my tattoo look a little faded...

Mysterious Text Conversation

2008-03-06T13:22:00.002-06:00

When I turned my cell phone on this morning, I noticed a text message at 10pm last night from an 832 number I didn't recognize. So of course, knowing me - curiosity killed the cat and all that - I replied...

832#: you can just call me mr awesome

me: who is this?

832#: you don't remember mr awsome?

me: I know several awsome misters

832#: it's mr awsome god dammit!

me: ok - maybe you have the wrong number. Please tell me who you are or go away.

832#: James, james, james. It really pains me that you dont know who I am... several others my ass. I was in your algebra class.

me: Yep - sorry but you have the wrong number

832#: This isn't James B----?

me: NO - wrong number

832#: LMAO sorry dude. or girl. whichever you are.

me: LADY, MRS. -- no prob & good luck finding James

Moo??

2008-03-06T08:43:00.002-06:00

I stopped by a convenience store/gas station on my way to work this morning for snacks & coffee... Usually the little quickie marts like that have the little single serve packages of International Delight flavored creamers - not this one. They had some contraption of a machine that dispensed plain creamer plus your choice of 4 flavors when you pressed down a lever. Ok - no prob. So I fill my cup with coffee, slide it under the spout, press the lever, yada yada... and when I let go of the lever, it MOO'ed at me. The first time I wasn't quite sure what I'd heard so I did it again... yep! The machine actually MOOS at you when you're finished. Umm... ok... I wonder if they had to pay extra for that feature?

Parking Lot Taqueria

2008-03-05T14:09:00.004-06:00

Have you ever eaten at one of those little bus/camper/trailer/van Taqueria places that are usually in gas station parking lots? I've always considered them salmonella or e.coli on wheels, and have never been tempted to eat at one... until now. There's one right down the road from my office that just smells wonderful. It's a bright blue short school bus with picnic tables around it, permanently parked in an old closed gas station parking lot. I swear every time I pass it, it has the most mouth watering smokehouse smell wafting out from it --- and there's always a crowd of hispanic guys sitting at the tables. I can just imagine that the foods incredible, but I'm not brave enough to risk montezuma's revenge to try it.

Bumper stickers of cars past

2008-03-05T08:54:00.008-06:00

I bought my first car in 1992 - a 1976 Volvo steel box on wheels. The first thing I did was put my stickers on the back window. I know I know, I was such a little radical liberal tree hugger back then. (btw - these stickers may or may not reflect my current political views/endorsements)

(and no, I don't know what was up with the Yaga Ragz sticker. I think it was a present from my cousin.)

My first two cars - the Volvo and a 1982 Dodge K Car - had the above stickers. Thinking back, it cracks me up that I had my pro-environment, hippy tree hugger bumper stickers on two serious gas guzzlers/CO exhaust fume producers...

My next two cars only had one sticker... my AIDS ribbon. I guess I was going for a simple statement at the time.

Bessie's first bumper sticker was from the Dixie Chicks concert I went to years ago:

That one went out of style after not too long, so it was removed quite some time ago... scroll down for Bessie's current stickers...

Bumper Sticker of the Day

2008-03-04T12:42:00.012-06:00

I think I'm going to start something new for my blog -- Bumper Sticker of the Day. I love bumper stickers. They're one of my favorite forms of expression. I'd have my car covered with them if I could, but hubby thinks I might piss the wrong person off or make myself a target for vandals.

So currently I only have the below stickers (and my Minnie Mouse antenna topper). I think that's pretty subtle... well for me at least...

(is this TOO subtle? Can you tell the cats are a Pride Rainbow?)

(I cut the words out of this one so it only has Stitch...)

Mothers and freedon of religion

2008-03-04T10:12:00.002-06:00

Uh-oh... I pissed my mama off... that's never good...

So I was on the phone last week with my mother, and she said that they were going to to go a bible study/church service in Huntsville on Sunday. I could tell she was trying to be nice and not ask but in the end she just couldn't help it and said I was more than welcome to come. I said thanks really, but no. I'm Buddhist remember? Buddhists don't do church. I have to give her credit, she's really been trying to be open minded about my whole Buddhism thing - but I know she thinks it's just my latest half hearted phase and I'll grow out of it like usual. So she tells me, that doesn't mean you can't come. We still believe the same things - faith hope & love. I said yes, we do believe the same things, hope & love, but you read a book I don't read and follow a guy I don't follow. Uh-oh. Wrong move there Wendy. She got really serious & told me to be careful what I say. "Tread lightly" she tells me. "You don't wanna go there - be careful what you say." Great. Now she has just one more reason to think I'm going to hell. Better light another candle for me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUBBY!

2008-03-03T08:52:00.005-06:00

I just want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the best hubby out there - the only man on the planet willing to put up with my crazy princess tendencies for over a decade!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUBBY!!

Men... What would they do without us?

2008-02-29T15:11:00.001-06:00

So hubby asks me last night "do we have anything going on Monday? I keep thinking there's something, but I can't remember what."

"Umm... honey?? Monday's your birthday."

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that! I KNEW there was something happening Monday!"

Boy Fits - Mama Breakdowns

2008-02-27T20:44:00.004-06:00

I am drained - completely totally emotionally drained. My son started throwing these massive screaming fits for absolutely no reason this week. We've had one every morning and evening since about Saturday. Oh my God - I am completely and totally wiped out emotionally by the time he's through. The worst part I think is that they make no sense at all. Something sets him off, something small that doesn't go right, or something we've told him to do that he doesn't want to, anything really. I think he's having a hard time realizing that the world does not revolve around him, and he must conform to our rules. He doesn't like following directions and doing something that's not exactly his idea and way. I think initially that's what starts his fits, but then they just get out of control. He gets so wrapped up in screaming and crying that he won't stop and listen and realize that what's going on. For example - yesterday morning he was screaming over and over at the top of his lungs that his head hurt. I tried to tell him that I had Tylenol for him, but he wouldn't stop screaming long enough to hear me. The same thing happened twice tonight. First in the bathtub he was screaming at Daddy that he could wash himself (over and over again), and he wouldn't stop, look, and listen long enough to realize that Dad was trying to give him the washcloth so he COULD do it himself. Then he was standing in the tub screaming (over and over) that he was freezing. But yet he wouldn't step out of the tub to be wrapped up in the towel Daddy was holding and pj's I had that would warm him up. My God the screaming is killing me. I have to scream for him to stop just to be heard over him. I keep picturing the hysterical lady you see in the movies who won't stop screaming and someone ends up slapping her in the face with "snap out of it!". I swear, I just want to smack him upside the head! But of course I would never slap my child. However, spanking on the other hand... well... he has gotten a couple of smacks on the butt. I finally got him calmed down again and tucked in bed this evening. Once we were all settled and calm again I asked him where these fits were coming from. They're new. Is there something going on that I don't know about? Something that's triggering them? He said he didn't know. He couldn't remember. Umm... okay. Then we talked quietly for a few minutes. I reminded him of what a big boy he is and how very smart he is. He's too big and too smart to be throwing tantrums like this. If he's upset he needs to use his words to express himself. He said he'd try. Of course he's six. There's no telling what will happen tomorrow. We could have a wonderful day or it could be WW3 again - who knows. Ugh, motherhood's a bitch sometimes. But he's the love of my life and I wouldn't trade a day with him for all the treasures in the world. He's six - I just need to keep reminding myself that he's six, and he'll outgrow this phase just like any other.

My Car's back - YAY!

2008-02-27T08:49:00.002-06:00

Yay - Bessie's all better! I have to give the guys at Munday Chevrolet kudos for the fast service & turn around on my car. I dropped it off Monday to have the a/c repaired. In addition to just that, they found my water pump & some belts needed to be replaced. They did all the work and still had my car ready by Tuesday morning. With the a/c problem I seriously was expecting to be without it all week.

Yay guys! Thanks SO MUCH!

Three Kittens' First Grand Adventure

2008-02-25T12:16:00.000-06:00

This is really cute! But mute it. It's just fine without sound... (honestly I haven't heard it with sound yet, so it could be really annoying...)

Academy Awards Wrap Up

2008-02-25T09:03:00.004-06:00

I'm completely copying and pasting this article from MSN. I love the author's humor and it really sums up the show last night. BTW, check out Jon Stewart's one-liners -- they're hilarious!

OSCARS BEST, WORST, AND WEIRDEST MOMENTS
Stewart gets edgy, Tilda gets funny, and everyone's got bedhead!

By Kim Morgan Special to MSN Movies

To think that just a couple of weeks ago, this whole Oscar shindig might have been cancelled...
But the three-month-long Writers Guild strike was settled in the nick of time, so the biggest movie awards show in the world -- the American equivalent of a coronation -- could go on, and stars could gather to honor ... other stars. As host Jon Stewart quipped: "Having the Oscars helped end the strike ... before we spend the next four to five hours giving each other golden statues, let's take a moment to congratulate ourselves."

The 80th Annual Academy Awards were not all just pats on the back, writer jokes and fantastic frocks (well, actually, there were a lot of fantastic frocks): Many of the nominated films, actors, writers and directors were (double gasp!) actually deserving, and two of the pictures -- "There Will Be Blood" and "No Country for Old Men" -- are bona-fide masterpieces. If there was any kind of theme this year, it was Oscar getting it almost right -- nominating interesting films and artists from all over the world (England, France, Ireland, Italy, Spain and Austria were all represented). And of the contenders, there was new talent (Ellen Page for "Juno"), older icons (Hal Holbrook for "Into the Wild") and, for heaven's sake, Viggo Mortensen (perhaps one of the coolest men walking the earth) for "Eastern Promises."

Still, maybe it was all this good taste and worthiness that made the show a little ... staid. Don't get me wrong, there were some surprises and spirited highlights, like Stewart's opening monologue, some heartfelt acceptance speeches and one (or should I say "Once"?) musical performance. And there were also some lowlights, like Academy President Sid Ganis' attempts at humor, the uninspired video pieces and three musical performances from "Enchanted."

So we're here to hand out awards for the best, worst and weirdest of the ceremony. The envelope, please:

Most Moving Acceptance Speech: How does he do it? Picking up his Best Supporting Actor award for playing psychopath Anton Chigurh in "No Country For Old Men," Javier Bardem managed to be likable, studly, humble, casual and touching all at once. Ambling on stage with his mussed-up hair and mischievous smile, he said, "I have to speak fast here, man" and then pointed out everything from how amazing the award was to his curious Dutch-boy haircut from the movie. But when he honored his "Mama" (entirely in Spanish) with nary a trace of sappiness, the charming Spaniard caught us off guard. We were positively teary-eyed. And then he all but strutted off-stage. Hmmm... maybe it's not Viggo but Javier who's the coolest man walking the face of the earth.

Best Jon Stewart Joke, Part 1: "Tonight we look beyond the dark days and focus on happier fare. This year's slate of Oscar-nominated psychopathic killer movies. Does this town need a hug? What happened? 'No Country For Old Men,' 'Sweeney Todd,' 'There Will Be Blood.' All I can say is thank God for teen pregnancy."

Funniest Acceptance Speech: Tilda Swinton. She is known for her edgy, serious work in heavy films like "Orlando" and "The Deep End" and as the famed ice queen from "The Chronicles of Narnia" so who knew she was so damn funny? When accepting her Best Supporting Actress win for "Michael Clayton," the red-haired Brit hilariously capped her speech by mercilessly teasing co-star George Clooney: "George Clooney... you know. The seriousness and dedication to your art, seeing you climb into that rubber bat suit from "Batman and Robin," the one with nipples, every morning, under your costume, on the set, off the set, hanging upside at lunch. You rock, man. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Ever the class act, Clooney took it like, well, like George Clooney -- a man.

Am I Crazy Or... Was seeing acclaimed filmmaker Spike Lee and his "Jungle Fever" star, recent tax evader Wesley Snipes, sitting together as essentially dates kind of heartwarming? And they looked fantastic. Maybe they'll make another movie together? I'm sure Snipes would be happy. The IRS is another story...

Edgiest Jon Stewart Joke: "Julie Christie was absolutely amazing in 'Away From Her.' Brilliant movie. It was a moving story of a woman who forgets her own husband. Hillary Clinton called it the 'feel good movie of the year.' "

Buzz Off: Can Jerry Seinfeld please stop promoting that damn bee movie? We saw you on Oprah. We saw you on Letterman. We saw you on Larry King. We get it. You made freaking "Bee Movie." And yes, we know it will be available on DVD this March. And showing the montage of great stinging film moments didn't make us want to rush out and buy (ugh!) "Bee Movie." Seriously, we'd so rather watch that hilarious Bill Murray bee sequence from "Rushmore" over Jerry's entire animated classic.

Bad in Black: One would think black is basic -- that it flatters all who wear it. But the usually perky and lovely Jennifer Garner appeared downright dour in her dark frock, looking both unhappy and uncomfortable in such a gothic get-up. Helena Bonham Carter (where was she, anyway?) she is not.

Ladies in Red: Perhaps in the spirit of all the violent movies nominated this year, many actresses opted for bold red dresses. Helen Mirren, Anne Hathaway, a stunning Katherine Heigl channeling Marilyn Monroe, Heidi Klum and, uh, Miley Cirus all went primary. Wait, what the hell was Miley Cirus doing there?

Am I Crazy Or... Is Amy Adams becoming really irritating? I don't dislike the lovable star, but her appearance this year left me with conflicted emotions. As she performed "Happy Working Song," one of the three nominated songs for her film "Enchanted," I was both embarrassed and overwhelmingly annoyed by her Betty Boop/Snow White impersonation. Did she even want to perform this? And to make matters worse, little Miss Adams continued her cutesy, goody-goody act while presenting the award for Best Original Score. Typecast much? I hate to say this, but she needs to play a hooker/heroin addict/convicted murderer stat. That cuteness is starting to curdle.

Best Jon Stewart Joke, Part 2: "There is a great variety in the nominated films this year. Even 'Norbit,' got a nomination, which I think is great. Too often the Academy ignores movies that aren't good."

Technically Speaking: Why do Scientific and Technical Achievement Awards always have to be handed out by Hollywood's latest babe-du-jour? I know, I know. I'm sure all those guys slaving over their computers and gadgets and inventions more than enjoy the presence of sexy Jessica Alba (who looks terrific pregnant, by the way), but why not something new next year? How about Philip Seymour Hoffman presenting the award -- preferably as his Ned Beatty/Wilford Brimley-esque character of "Charlie Wilson's War."

Am I Crazy Or... Did the more hysterical of the two winning directors of Best Documentary Short Subject ("Freeheld," which I'm sure is a fine short film) provide the most unintentionally hilarious line of the evening: "It was Lt. Laurel Hester's dying wish that her fight against discrimination would make a difference for all same sex couples that face discrimination every day. Discrimination that I don't face as a married woman." The sentiment was nice, but why did she sound like Sally Struthers?

Ruffled Razz-Ma-Tazz: Aside from an incredibly dapper George Clooney, who looked a cross between Cary Grant and Clark Gable with his slicked-back hair and perfect tux, this year's male attire was decidedly relaxed though strikingly attractive. Most everyone appeared a little unkempt (mussed hair, unshaven face, less-traditional tuxes) and yet not at all slobby. They were in fact elegant and eclectic. Viggo Mortensen looked extraordinary rocking a Vincent Van Gogh beard and knee-length dinner jacket. Daniel Day-Lewis' longer hair and more retro tux was fetching. And Javier Bardem, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and Harrison Ford all appeared with a little bed-head ... which was actually very sexy. I'm not even going to start with Johnny Depp.

Least Surprising, Most Deserving Win: I think he's a genius (sorry to all of you out there who think him a ham), so I was ecstatic when the entirely deserving Daniel Day-Lewis picked up his golden boy for his powerful performance as insanely ambitious oil-man Daniel Plainview in Paul Thomas Anderson's masterful "There Will Be Blood." But come on -- everyone knew it was going to happen. As Tony Curtis said in "Sweet Smell of Success," "The cat's in the bag and the bag's in the river." I'd add something about milkshakes but that's getting a little played out...

Best Jon Stewart Joke, Part 3: "Democrats have an historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally when you see a black man or woman president, an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty."

Diablo Disappoints: Diablo Cody, beloved hipster-ex-stripper-screenwriter-goddess, wins Best Original Screenplay for the indie hit "Juno," a movie soaked with quippy one-liners that either delighted or seriously exasperated audiences -- and all she can come up with is, "I especially want to thank my fellow nominees." Or, "This is for the writers!" Diablo! Honest to blog! Where was your arsenal of smarty-pants wisecracks and pop-culture Soupy Sales-isms? This is the Oscars, Home Skillet. This is your time on stage. As you wrote, this is "one doodle that can't be un-did." But hey, you pulled off the leopard dress, tats and your Louise Brooks bob. So at least you looked great. But... another thing. What was with your glum exit offstage? Was Harrison Ford taking you to Oscar detention?

Most Surprising Win: Wow! No Julie Christie for Sarah Polley's lovely, heartbreaking "Away From Her." We thought Christie was a shoe-in. But talented French hottie Marion Cotillard was the spoiler, picking up Best Actress for her performances as iconic French chanteuse Edith Piaf in "La Vie En Rose." I'm thinking all those mixed CDs Academy voters picked up at Starbucks (I'm only guessing these exist -- those International flavor collections) with that strange-voiced French lady actually compelled them to do a little Piaf research. Nevertheless, though we were rooting for Christie, it was tough not to be happy for Cotillard, who appeared definitely shocked and as she said, "speechless." She also looked wonderful in white. Jean Paul Gaultier does a gal good.

The Real Enchanting "Once" Upon a Time: Glen Hansard (he of the Irish band The Frames) and Czech musician Marketa Irglova performed their soulful, beautiful song "Falling Slowly" from their charming, touching, musical indie "Once." She on piano, he strumming a battered old guitar he's had since he was a teenage busker (street singer) in Ireland. It was gorgeous (though why did the camera choose to end on orchestra conductor Bill Conti? It was their moment, not his.) Next to all of those painfully corny "Enchanted" songs, some of which played like ads for Clorox Bleach (I could have sworn someone sang "Mama makes brights, bright like the sunshine ..."), the two channeled the late great Elliott Smith (remember him in his white suit, standing next to Celine Dion ... And losing?!). But the refreshingly independent Hansard and Irglova won! And we cheered when Hansard stated, "Make art! Make art!" Jon Stewart extended their moment by allowing Irglova, who was cut off by the over-anxious orchestra, to movingly extend her gratitude. What a moment.

The Dudes Abide: Though some of us were also rooting for Paul Thomas Anderson's "There Will Be Blood," Joel and Ethan Coen's brilliant "No Country For Old Men" was an entirely deserving winner for both Best Director (in their case Best Directors) and Best Picture. Their bloody, beautifully acted, poetic adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's novel was soulful, inventive, mysterious and truly horrifying. Though this is one of their best pictures, us Coen fans are also taking this as a win for "Blood Simple," "Miller's Crossing," "Barton Fink," "Raising Arizona," "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" and of course, "The Big Lebowski." And you know, had "No Country" lost, don't think we wouldn't see "Lebowski" vet Walter Sobchak storming on stage screaming: "Has the whole world gone crazy! Am I the only one here who gives a sh*t about the rules?" So with that, congratulations to the Coens.

Academy Awards Part 2 - Pre Show

2008-02-24T18:25:00.003-06:00

OH MY GOD - I feel so sorry for Lisa Rinna. She's doing the Red Carpet pre-show interviews for TV Guide channel, and she's absolutely bombing! She's forgotten almost everyone's movies and all of their stats - and what she IS saying is completely wrong. More than once she's justs stood there silent staring at the star cause she didn't know what to say. Where are her writers? Don't they know the strike is over??

Academy Awards

2008-02-24T16:49:00.002-06:00

Today's the day... it's finally here... the day I wait for all year... the Oscars! I love
Hollywood and the movies so much - I LOVE the Academy Awards.

I'm all set. It's 5pm, I'm sitting here with the house to myself, my big tv tuned to the pre-shows and red carpet countdown, my telephone handy to call my mother, and my best friend on the compt just to dish about who's wearing who and which movies won.